Longing for baby?

demora · 02-06-2008, 11:01 AM

Hello,

One thing that I guess has me in the dumps a little bit is the fact that another year of my life has come and gone (birthday coming up) and still no babies. In some ways, I have to say this is a good thing. We are going through some difficulties in our relationship right now, but on the flip side, I know that my body is getting older and older. The possibilities of something going wrong if I should get pregnant are increasing.

To add insult to injury, I don't produce eggs, so for me to get pregnant, we will need help. In order for that to happen, they said I have to lose A LOT of weight.

We've talked about adoption, but with my husband's porn problem, I don't think we would pass the home study.

My feelings of wanting a baby keep getting stronger and I hate it when I see all of these babies in the news that are being abused, abandonded and killed. I often wonder what God hates about me so much that He doesn't see me fit to be a mom...but that's when I get really angry about it.

Thanks for adding the spot to vent.

kapjet · 02-08-2008, 05:42 PM

Wow! I never understood why people who dont really want kids can push them out and the ones who really want and would do anything for one cant! Its just not fair. However, all is not lost yet. Stop thinking about it and carry on with your life and marriage and work on that for now. Maybe try and lose abit of weight, join a gym or something and feel better about yourself! Maybe start the adoption process so you dont have to wait as long. Who knows maybe when your mind isnt on making babies 24 -7 it may finally happen! Its been known to happen! Your body works in mysterious ways!
Good luck!

draconis · 02-09-2008, 01:06 AM

God doesn't hate you and I hope you never feel that way. Sometimes the worst things happen to good people. In the Christian bible look at the Book of Job and his perseverance in suffering. You seem like a great person and maybe the answer is before you and you just don't see it, maybe you'll never know how many people you life has touched.

draconis

demora · 02-12-2008, 05:44 AM

It's not that I obess about it so much. I don't have much time to really think about it, and I guess maybe that's part of the reason...maybe I have all I can handle right now. The irony of it is that I placed a baby for adoption when I was young. I was afraid at that time that he would be my first and only child because of my history with my cycles.

Ahhhh well. I have my furry daughters (Shey, a husky and Tidbit a chau/min pin mix) and they have lots of love to give and recieve.

mollyL · 03-07-2008, 08:51 AM

Being upbeat and positive, as in sharing a lot of love with your furry friends, is the way to go, that’s for certain. An upbeat attitude will relax and perhaps even help you to conceive; and if not that, then to accept whatever fate has in store for you.

charlenecoetzee · 03-26-2008, 06:03 PM

Hi Everyone!
I've just joined this site about 20 min ago! We've also been struggling to conceive for nearly 3 yrs now. But never giving up & still going strong! But I've got a question: I recently heard from friends & family asking if we haven't tried 'The Gift'? I'm from South-Africa and never heard of this before. Does anyone know this ormaybe shead a liitle light on telling me more about 'The Gift', if any such thing excists, please?

loobylou22 · 08-16-2008, 02:40 AM

i have a two year old son and its brill!
i dont have the problems that your talking about
but a friend of mine does/did???
she has polysistic overies witch means she dosnt produce eggs her self and she had finally come to terms with the facts that she wont have a baby naturally and stopped worrying about it and once she relaxed about it all and stopped stressing she started to ovulate again after 3 years
and shes now 8 months pregnat with her first child her and her hubby are over the moon because its all just happend by its self
i know there situation is not the same as yours but your body is an amazing machiene that has the ability to fix its self and sort out its own problems so relax and try to carry on with your life it may just happen for you too
x

justean · 08-16-2008, 06:10 AM

i agree with you - stress plays a huge part in concieving.

Honey · 09-02-2008, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by demora

Hello,

One thing that I guess has me in the dumps a little bit is the fact that another year of my life has come and gone (birthday coming up) and still no babies. In some ways, I have to say this is a good thing. We are going through some difficulties in our relationship right now, but on the flip side, I know that my body is getting older and older. The possibilities of something going wrong if I should get pregnant are increasing.

To add insult to injury, I don't produce eggs, so for me to get pregnant, we will need help. In order for that to happen, they said I have to lose A LOT of weight.

We've talked about adoption, but with my husband's porn problem, I don't think we would pass the home study.

My feelings of wanting a baby keep getting stronger and I hate it when I see all of these babies in the news that are being abused, abandonded and killed. I often wonder what God hates about me so much that He doesn't see me fit to be a mom...but that's when I get really angry about it.

Thanks for adding the spot to vent.

Hun, if your husband is into porn, he needs to give that up. How does he have time to make a baby, much less be a good daddy to it?

lonely1inohio · 09-03-2008, 11:19 AM

My heart goes out to all that are having trouble in the baby department. My wife and I tried in vain for many years. We went through 3 artificial inseminations and 3 invetro fertilizations. After the last procedure we were blessed with 2 beautifiul baby girls and we had almost entirely given up. Keep your hopes up. The years of wanting really took a toll on our marriage and no one knows how physically & mentaly draining it is having love to give but no child to give it to. Not to mention the financial kick in the teeth when the doctors bills roll in. I do not have any majic words and surely do not have everything figured out but what I can tell you is do everything and anything you can to achive what you want. So you will never look back & wish you had tried harder.

I had the perfect marriage except for no kids!
Now my kids are all that seems to hold my marriage together.

Honey · 09-03-2008, 01:34 PM

You have baby on the mind. Don't think about making one, when you make love. Works for the ones that get that way and don't want one, right? You can also go to Church and they will give you a blessing to have a child. It worked for someone I know. May I ask how old are you? If you don't want to say, it's ok. I was just thinking the older you are, the harder it will be to get that way. Also, your baby has a higher chance that something could be wrong with it. If you feel you are not a strong person to handle this if it happens, than you may want to adopt, but still with that, you don't know how he or she will be. I know someone who adopted a little boy when he was just a baby. Now he 4 or 5, and can't do a thing with him. It is not just having a sweet little baby, you have to know that sometimes it is more work than pleasure. Not saying not to have one..I love babies myself, but life is like a box of chocolate..you never know what you will get. If your husband has a problem, I would (if I were you) deal with your husband problem first, before adding more stress on you.