If so How long did it take.
I have not felt emotionally connect to H for about 3 yrs. We've been married 26 yrs. We've discussed this issue many times. He has not asked me to do anything specific, but I do things I think he would like, and I have been specific about asking for what I want. My H does not remember, know how, or is passive agressive and chooses not to make the effort. We've quite having sex because we are not emotionally connected. He is a very smart man, making a very big mistake. From my point of view, his deliberate choice is NOT to be emotionally connected.
Have others been able to make intimate recoonection? I would like to know if there is any hope for us.
Thank you for posting this question, it is this exact thing I feel like sometimes a broken record so it is good to see from someone else the same thing.
Emotional connection and sexual attraction are intertwined, and when the man and woman neglects either one, the other suffers.
Your man is not making the effort, because he is not recognizing how serious the situation is. The problem is, when things have deteriated to the point that he recognizes it is often too late, for there are affairs and divorce already imminent.
Your man is feeling already the resentment to you for no sex, so he has attempted to fill this with other things, in turn making you feel undesired and resenting him.
This forum is very full of this scenerio sadly.
I know from "your point of view" he is making a deliberate choice not to emotionally connect, and this is making you feel you are not worthwhile to him as a woman.
But understand in his mind he is not doing it deliberately, he is doing it instinctively to protect himself from the emotional hurt of being, in his mind, rejected already as a man from the lack of sex.
I know this is hard to always see, but the husband or wife are not magically knowing the answer and deliberately hurting the other, they are confused and hurting themself and do not know the solution.
To recognize this, is to cut off from the root this source of resentment, so that the way forward will become clear.
What you must do, and this is hard to say exactly, but find the way to show him how serious this is, to say the lack of sex and lack of emotional connection are the one and same problem, and you are seeing him and your marriage as worthwhile to make the effort to fix.
Whether this is a discussion, or should involve an outside counselor only you can determine, but again, if you can recognize your husband is just as confused, and then put aside the resentment to communicate CLEARLY what is happening, then your man will be able to understand himself what he needs to do to make things right also.
I wish you well.