Re: My husband is abusive,mentally,verbally and sometimes physically.
that is a truly horrible thing to say to your "loved one". my wife had an uncle that abused her, I would never ever even consider saying a thing about it to her to get even at her. I know it was not her fault, I know she did not enjoy it and would do anything to not have it ever happen in the first place.
I agree with others, while you are there, save up money, do not take any crap from him and research into ways to get out of there. do not let him find out, bad things might happen before you get a chance to leave. we had that happen to someone we knew. was horrible.
you deserve to be happy all the time, not just a once in awhile thing or have it as a dream in the back of your head. if someone does not want you to be happy then there is a serious issue. I would indeed truly do anything for my wife to make her happy, if that would be for her to be on her own and discover life without me then I would let her do that. it would really be awful to be without her in my life but I would prefer her to be happy.
I learned a long time ago about free will, you cannot truly suppress it, you can hold it down but you can never really imprison a person or control their every action. others in my life are able to do what they want or feel the need to, I cannot or will not stop them, I might advise against it but it truly is their own mistake to discover.
try to switch tactics on him. do not entertain his arguing, when he tries to be combative, leave the room. keep your voice cool and calm , tell him when he is interested in talking to you like a human being he can come get you.do not let yourselves feed off each others negative emotions. he is acting like a spoiled child.
I would not be surprised if there is a few mental issues there.