If You Were Accused of Infidelity
Ladies - If you were accused of infidelity how would you react. I am trying to understand my W's reaction and maybe you have some insights.
A year ago, I was alone for the weekend while she was in Chicago with the kids (teenagers). No problem there but for whatever reason, I started thinking about the last 10 years of a virtually sexless M.
There had been some warning signs over that period that I just didn't read very well and was in denial about. A lingering touch by an employee at a company party. She's the boss and the in-charge, no nonsense type.
Another thing, the maid washed some men's underwear she found somewhere in the house and put it in my dresser. My W said that was from Boy Scouts trip my son had. I had strong gut reactions that things just weren't right. But when I asked (mildly) about them, she just explained it away quickly like we don't need to spend much time talking about something so ridiculous.
For whatever reason, I'm thinking about all these questions I have had over the last 10 years, and it all starts to fall into place. It seems clear to me that she was having an A. She didn't want to touch me, or kiss me or hug me or really have anything to do with me.
The sudden realization of this situation really upset me. When she returned home, I confronted her with my questions. I made the mistake of letting my painful emotions get the better of me and openly wept as I tried to get through the process of talking to her about it.
Now this is my question: Please help me interpret her reaction. She did not come over and try to reassure me or hold me or act in any way warmly to me. She was angry and acted outraged. She said that we were living a lie because I had these suspicions for all those years and didn't tell her.
She stayed about six feet from me in a chair while I was on the couch. Her body was pointed away from me. She didn't face me directly with her face or eyes. She spoke more slowly than usual.
If you were innocent of infidelity, would you react this way. Maybe such an accusation is an outrage and that is a normal reaction. BUT if it were me, and I saw that she was really upset, I would want to hold her and reassure, even if I was annoyed that she didn't trust me.
So was she probably innocent, probably guilty or can you say?