Just Venting

lilyflower_1978 · 06-29-2007, 08:58 AM

Two weeks ago my husband of almost seven years said he wants a divorce. It blew my mind away. Four years ago he got it into his head to move to another state to meet family that never showed interest in him before. I went even though it meant leaving behind everyone and everything I have ever known. It was good at first, I had a job and made some friends but within a year my health went downhill and both work and friends disappeared. He had been so incredibly supportive the first year and a half when my health declined but then his additude shifted. I could see he was stressed and smothered by my neediness. So the past couple months I've been supportive to his desire to go out on the weekends, hang out with friends. I just had two rules: not to drink too much because I needed him sober if I had to go to the hospital and to respect the time we agreed on to be home, if for some reason he found he wasn't going to make it to call me and let me know. Well, one night he didn't stick to the rules and I was very angery and hurt. I told him I had to focus my energy on my health and didn't have any this time to fix this...that I needed him to be on board and if he couldn't he had to let me know. I didn't expect for him to really be done with me. He says he's been unhappy for months but didn't say anything and was hoping it would change. How could it change if I didn't know there was a problem? I am so crushed right now but I can't afford to wallow in it. I will be moving back home in a week. How many others have gone through a seperation or divorce they were caught completely off gaurd? How did you handle it?

angelbaby · 07-05-2007, 09:18 PM

honey,My ex husband was the same way.I kept saying I was sick and all,but he didn't know what to think,because the doctors couldn't find what was wrong.So he was going out with friends on weekends and I would be home with his children from his first marriage and my son from a previous relationship.And that's how he met,not one other woman,but numerous.Well,we ended and I was absolutely devastated at first.But after about a year of just casual dating,I met my current husband and he has been great.He made me find a doctor that's good.the docotr found I have liver disease,intersistial cyctitis and I am always wesak,though I do keep my house and college work done.But he is alwas wanting to be there.He says he has to be here to help me and to be here in case I need him for anything.He is the greatest,standing by me through it all....