jwji1213

we have been married for 7 years and together 12. we have 3 kids. The big thing for me is that my husband shows no love toward me. He can do it with our kids he can hug and kiss them but i can not tell you the last time we kissed. He tells me he loves me only when we fight about it or I cry over it. Sex is only on his terms when he wants. if i try he tells me no or he is tired. we don't even hold hands. I have tried talking to him about it but he tells me I am being needy or I want him to be somthing he is not. I guess I want to know am I being needy? or should we have these things in our marriage?

blind

I know you posted in the ladies lounge, but from a guy's perspective, I don't think you are being needy. Your desires sound reasonable to me. I share your desires and my wife doesn't meet them either. But, in my situation, I didn't meet my wifes needs for so long her love for me died. It may be that there is more to your husband's behavior. As a starting point, I suggest reading The Five Languages of Love. If your husband will do it he should read it too. It will give you some very good insight into how different people show and receive love. It could be that you aren't meeting his needs either. While the two of you still have love for each other I would get to work on finding out the issues and starting the repair process. I may well have waited too late to understand my wife's important needs. I still love her but she doesn't love me. I don't wish my situation on anyone and hope that you and your husband can start working this out sooner rather than later. Please do not misunderstand me, I am not indicating that you are doing anything wrong, but without knowing more about your situation, these are my thoughts. Take them for what they are worth. Good luck and best wishes

Blind

stav

Is this a recent thing jwji? Has he ever been the loving man that you are asking for? If you used to get the kisses and hugs, then you must try to think back to when it stopped... did something happen that might have changed his attitude to you?

If he has always been this way, then it will be hard to get him to change, 12 years later...