Hello! I am need of some advice.
My name is Alexa and I am 21 years old. I have been with my boyfriend, Kenneth (22 years old) for 3 years now and we couldn't be happier. We've already planned out basically our entire life together and I can honestly say I see everything working out. We've discussed marriage, kids, careers, neighborhoods to live in, the whole nine.
The past three years have not always been easy, were both very stubborn, and he is very impatient. But we've always managed to work through every thing that life has thrown at us thus far.
For the past 6 months he's lived in another state, 3 hours away, due to personal family issues. So we've basically been having a long-distance relationship. We still see each other every weekend and talk every night, so the real only difference is we see each other 2 days a week instead of 7. We used to be together all the time when work and college would allow.
Anyways, we've been planning marriage to happen within the next couple of years, about 4-5 years from now. (We would move in together in about 3years, get married 1-2 years after) But something happened where the actual marriage, making everything official, could get pushed up sooner. (Where we would get married before we move in together) When he told me this, my heart dropped. The thought of marriage really happening scared me, and I do not understand why. I cannot think of any reason why I wouldn't want to be with him for the rest of my life and I am SO happy with him. I've never been happier in all of my life. But I can't understand why I feel like I'm having second thoughts once the marriage aspect is actually becoming real, and not just words for the future.
Does this mean that deep down I don't want to marry him? Or could this be some personal dilemma that I haven't dealt with where I'm afraid to commit? I'm just confused and can't figure out why I'm stopping myself from true happiness.
I don't even know if these questions have answers. I am just looking for advice, if anyone out there has been in my situation and could share some words of wisdom.
I am just very confused. Please help !! Thanks so much.