Re: Domestic Abuse.
hi. I've had a better day. dad came out with me on my scooter. i'm finding where they live easier than home to get out, its all flat & there's so much around. I looked at a church with Dad on Friday, v good flat entrance etc for my scooter - went to my 1st church service without hubby today. it helped. people were welcoming.
my poor little dog, she was put to sleep. I have been a total wreck to make such a heart breaking choice, totally bereft. please don't write much in response - it'll send me back down. I loved her. my youngest (in his mid 20's) kept sending me horrible texts "you killed out dog". she was my dog, I made a terrible choice in concern she might bite a child, that doesn't mean I didn't love her, she'd licked so many of my tears.
so, hubby & 2 sons are all giving me the cold shoulder. hubby has managed to manipulate them into feeling sorry for him because it's his birthday next week " and dad'll be all on his own".
hubby rang me up about leaving him,he said, "you've had bad advice &made poor choices & why don't you just come home? I've promised it won't happen again, why won't you just believe me?".
I asked him if he'd rang the abusers prog. he came out with a load of excuses - no he hasn't
he said," i'm just trying to work out what I can do to get you home for xmas". I told him I won't go back if he's not on a abusers prog. I daren't tell him that I am really not sure I could go back even if he does sign up. thinking about it gives me panic attacks! he now says he'll make the call this wk
I left saying I was giving him 1 mth to look& sign up for a abusers prog.
but now i'm out i'm not sure I could even try. I was so scared of him. I knew if I stayed he'd hit or batter me, it was a gut feeling& his behaviour.
friends I made at CODA have been in touch, they've helped me so much with encouragement. they keep saying i'm brave - not feeling it.
my heads all over the place. no word off him today - glad of the peace! I know there are things I need to do, I can't hold things in my head,forgetful! everything is a effort. CODA friend says "baby steps & 1 day at a time." i'm 1 wk 1 day out.... I NEVER would have believed i'd have left him, my disability made it all so much more difficult & scary but here I am.
thankyou for all the support, I felt so trapped& alone,hug x