As per the not crying in front of him. Different people are, well, different. If I see my wife crying it doesn't make me think she is weak and dependent, it makes me think she is VERY hurt and it hurts me just to see it. My wife could really use this to her advantage and manipulate me with it, but kudos to her, she doesn't.
Lisa - well keep on giving it to him good (sorry just having a guys sticking together moment
In all honesty in time this may help. Did you ever read the 5 love languages thing? Basically it tells of 5 different ways we feel loved and that different people value different forms more heavily. If you are giving your heart out in three areas but he only heavily values one of those three he has two other areas that are empty. Same of course goes for you. Trick is the givers may not be giving in the most appreciated areas and the receivers may not be noticing all the effort placed in areas that are less needed by them.
Lets say your main three areas of love need are affirmation(need to hear he is proud of you), gifts(even small tokens that he is thinking of you) and quality time(where you truly have his attention). If he thinks the best way to show you love is acts of service(doing stuff for you like)- as a very big example for men - making a good living to have a nice house and food etc and physical touch(cuddling, kissing and more), then while he may think is he showing you love, you are not really receiving it because it is leaving your three primary areas of love need empty.
What I think can make it worse is that we tend to give love in the way we would like it. SO ... it is easy for the receiver to think we are only really being selfish and not giving love at all. Heck even the way we give receive one of the 5 may be totally different. Easiest example is touch. The woman may wish to receive many more subtle examples like hugs and kisses, holding hands while the man may not mind those but may be a little more heavily interested in getting his clock punched
As I think on this I believe there may be another dynamic not even mentioned in the book. I think to a degree most all of us want all of the love in some degree or another. Even if your needs are 1, 2, and 3. A devastating lack of 4 or 5 may make the lack of those so very much more important at the time if you are really getting 1 2 and 3 fulfilled. In other words we as humans tend a bit too often to concentrate on what we are lacking than on what we have.
Now having said all this... Yes, I still think you deserve to be treated better! Move forward with your happiness, he may catch up. Guys often need a 2x4 to the head before they realize anything is out of place with the marriage.
Just a hypothetical story. After months of telling John every day that she is sad and not feeling happy in their marriage, one day she tells John that she is going to live with her parents for a bit while she figures out what to do. She tells him the same thing everyday for the next week. Moving day...
John>What are you doing?
Martha>Packing up to go to my parents
J>Wow, you're taking a lot of stuff
M>I will be there a while John
J>Tell them I said hi
J>Hey, I'm planning on moving that plant to the front that we talked about
M>(totally baffled and bit curious) Why?
J>I thought that is where you wanted it
M>I really don't care anymore
M>Because I don't live here anymore
J>What are you talking about
M>I'm going to my parents
M>and looking for an apartment
J>what is wrong with our house?
M>you are in it
M>John I'm leaving you
M>We are separating
J> (its getting close now)
M> I don't love you anymore
J> (2x4 connects)
J> What do you mean you don't love me anymore? butt...butt butt
sorry you have buy the hardcover to get the rest