Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Re: Don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. pls help
How often does he initiate sex with you? How often do you oblige him? These are important pieces, but even men who have sex daily will still watch porn. Men are visually stimulated, and if the only variety he's getting is with his eyes, that's a good thing. I understand how you feel though, because I used to feel the same way. My H and I had a great sex life pre kids, but he still watched videos, then online stuff when we got a computer. After years of it bothering me, catching him, making him feel humiliated and in turn making him think I found him disgusting, I finally figured it out and just accepted it. It's perfectly normal for men to look at porn, online or movies, unless he prefers that to having sex with you.
I wouldn't "confront" him, that sounds angry already. Maybe, if you can accept what I said, then sit him down and have a civilized talk. The ultimate in this department of marriage is when both partners needs are met and the porn is just a diversion for the man.
Women can also enjoy it, and a lot do. It's not so much about the people doing the acts, but the acts being carried out.
But you say there are other issues. Can you get in to that? It may be that all of it is connected. I have discovered in my recent marital woes that one small issue, something seemingly insignificant, can trigger an avalanche of problems. The two of you need to have an open, candid, yet kind conversation to get to the root of your problems.