cantletgo

Just wondering if anyone has tried any of those "save your marriage" e books? There must be a hundred websites for this kind of thing and I highly doubt any of it has actually worked for any real people, but at this point I'm desparate enough to try anything.

silk-butterfly

Hi Cantletgo.I would love to reach out to you more as I have know what you are going through and what lies ahead of you but don`t know where to start.

I can suggest though that you take a look at showtimes thread `my wife is emotionally cheating....`It will give you insight into what to expect from a disloyal spouse and how to deal with their behaviour.

I wish I had found it earlier I would`ve been far ahead in my healing proccess than where I am now.

I won`t wish you luck as you will need more than that.. Above all you will need the stamina and patience to push through each day.It will be a slow proccess be prepared.

Take care I would love to speak to you in more detail sometime

cantletgo

Anytime. Just drop me a line. I have been through a divorce before, but nowhere near as painful as this one. At least with that one I didn't have to worry about kids. My poor babies... how can anyone just walk out on their children? Especially when their spouse is a pretty damn decent person?

DawnD

I have to think for one spouse to walk out on another and their own kids that it takes a special hint of selfishness. They turn into a "its all about me" person and just crap all over everyone else. I see your pain honey and I am sorry. I don't know of any books but I hope that you are doing okay right now. Sending lots of hugs

cantletgo

Thanks Dawn. I'm not ok, but I'm still here. Just now having an email exchange with the H about how it is he can just walk away without batting an eye, and how it's soooo unfair that he's running out to be foot loose and fancy free while I get stuck having to take care of a house, 2 kids, 3 pets, and all the stuff that comes with that.

DawnD

I hope he can at least answer you. my H had his affair and a year and a half later when I found out he still couldn't even piece together any of that. I asked how he thought him going out and sleeping with some skank wouldn't affect his wife and kids. He just stared at me and shrunk down. It would seem that sometimes they have to almost "come out of the coma" to realize it.

Any chance you will get out with the kids and do something fun just to take your mind to a good place if only for a minute?? I have been where you are and I hate to see anyone in that place.

cantletgo

When they're thinking with their "member", everything else is obliterated for that moment. I know that his affair had nothing to do with me, but his ego. He told me that if I wanted to, he'd stay with the kids and I could move out! Yeah, like hell that would happen. Anyway, gonna just step back and get my emotions in check, let him do what he has to do, as long as the bills get paid and my kids eat, eveyting else will fall into place.