Re: My husband thinks its ok to have female friends with out me know
Major mistake inviting others into your bedroom. I hope a lot of the people thinking about it read your story first.
You opened Pandora's box, and now you want the lid shut with enough time to keep hope in. The only way I see you have any hope of doing that is to put it in absolutes in this case. Tell him if he continues to see her, he wont be staying under the same roof, he wont be sleeping in the same bed, he wont be sitting across the table from you. He has lost track of what is important, and you are making it too comfortable to continue what he is doing. Right now he can come home to his own bed, his own stuff, a home cooked meal, and do whatever on the side while disrespecting you by hiding it, and lying to you about it.
I know that is contrary to your first instincts, but there is quite a bit of logic in that. If you wont fight for your marriage, who will?
If he is in the mindset where he is evaluating an exit, he probably doesn't have all of the pieces together. A sudden hard look at where he is really at may show him the value of what he has, or at least give you some time to work on the problems. If he's just looking at something on the side, he probably never intended to, and really doesn't have another place to go to. The 2nd situation is far more likely, but some people don't put the puzzle pieces together until they are forced to.