My husband thinks its ok to have female friends with out me know - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-05-2010, 12:31 AM Thread Starter
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Unhappy My husband thinks its ok to have female friends with out me know

My husband and I have been togather for 22 years. Last year I agreed to try a threesome and it went to far and He fall in love with her. and I stop it. I said I cant do this anymore we have to end this.. While it ended with me but not them it was going on for two months and he confused it all to me. and said it was over we talk things out and I started trusting him again.... Now he is friends with this girl not the same a new one. and said we are just friends.. but he would let me meet her. becouse i just get jealouse I found them at a restaunt having lunch when he turned me down for lunch. and not sitting across from another side by side. I sat down and told her i was his wife while to make a long story short I dump thier lunch right in her lap. I dont know why he was sneaking around. And they cont. to text and met behind my back how do get him to be honest with why is ok for him to girls as friends and me not know them...I feel this wrong. and he wants me to trust him.. HOW DO TRUST WHEN I FEEL THAT HE IS HIDING SOMETHING FROM ME HE WONT LET ME MEET THESE GIRLS. WHAT DO I DO??????

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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-05-2010, 08:20 AM
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Re: My husband thinks its ok to have female friends with out me know

You can't trust him. He is either cheating on you, or getting ready to. Will meeting them make it any easier for you when he cheats on you with them?

What do you do? You tell him it stops, or you leave.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-05-2010, 10:29 AM
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Re: My husband thinks its ok to have female friends with out me know

Stop allowing him to make you his doormat and trampling you.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-07-2010, 12:18 AM
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Location: Midwest, USA
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Re: My husband thinks its ok to have female friends with out me know

Major mistake inviting others into your bedroom. I hope a lot of the people thinking about it read your story first.

You opened Pandora's box, and now you want the lid shut with enough time to keep hope in. The only way I see you have any hope of doing that is to put it in absolutes in this case. Tell him if he continues to see her, he wont be staying under the same roof, he wont be sleeping in the same bed, he wont be sitting across the table from you. He has lost track of what is important, and you are making it too comfortable to continue what he is doing. Right now he can come home to his own bed, his own stuff, a home cooked meal, and do whatever on the side while disrespecting you by hiding it, and lying to you about it.

I know that is contrary to your first instincts, but there is quite a bit of logic in that. If you wont fight for your marriage, who will?

If he is in the mindset where he is evaluating an exit, he probably doesn't have all of the pieces together. A sudden hard look at where he is really at may show him the value of what he has, or at least give you some time to work on the problems. If he's just looking at something on the side, he probably never intended to, and really doesn't have another place to go to. The 2nd situation is far more likely, but some people don't put the puzzle pieces together until they are forced to.
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