Re: My husband wont stop lying to me
First, you have to know you don't need him. Doll, you are young and frightened I'm sure. Imagining myself alone with just my daughter frightens me, but I KNOW I will make it. I have to, she depends on me. I met my husband when I was 18. I knew him for two weeks and moved out of my hometown on a whim. I was scared, but I knew I couldn't screw up with him any worse than I had on my own. I got a stepdaughter on the weekends, I got a house with my own (kind of- it was all his) dishes and furniture. I was quite happily playing house. The whole time I was trying to be the "good girl" I was establishing a role that nine years later is biting me in the ass. Pregnant after only a year he had the nerve to lay next to me in bed and tell me we should just be friends. I hated him. At eight months he begged me back. I wanted to remain independent, but the truth is I was terrified. I didn't like the way he treated me, I didn't like how I always felt like the weaker party. At the time I didn't feel like I had any options. I knew my relationship wasn't healthy, but I convinced myself that I was strong enough to withstand anything he could throw at me while always maintaining a "happy housewife" persona. I thought I could outsmart him and my heart. I knew I did everything the right way and it should have been enough.
I'm telling you now- it does not get easier. I don't want to end my marriage, but I'm not happy in my current state. I have learned so many things since I met him. (good truths, not tricks or ploys) Call him on every lie. You don't have to fight, just acknowledge you know. THe problem is you'll never get an admission. If you choose to stay with him you might have to accept that. Then get smart. If you know he's lying, figure out why. Is it to hurt you? Is he hiding something. Mine lies to make me believe everything is ok when it's not. Decide NOW. Are you gonna stay? Set your boundaries for yourself. Always, always, be ready to leave. He doesn't have to know you think it. He'll twist you up. Maybe he loves you... I hope he does. The best advice I have is to focus on your happiness and your children's happiness. Maybe you need him financially, maybe you start planning now and in time you won't. Listen to any advice you receive, but only, only follow the path that makes you STRONGER in the end.