Answering for 1 female only.
No, thank you.
I do not need anyone to absolve me from the full consequences of making decisions for my own life that I was born into. To think that there would be another human being on the face of the earth that I would want to willingly give control over my life to, who has no more experience in the world than I do, and even less knowledge of my needs, physical and emotional, is beyond what I would consider rational or even sane.
Stroll through the romance novel section of any bookstore. The covers are full of soldiers, gangsters, outlaws, pirates, etc. Not a lot of reliable accountants or sensitive flower-arranging guys on the covers. Vicious killers on death row are showered with marriage proposals while legions of post-modernist sensitive husbands jump through fiery hoops in vain to put a grin on their wife's face.
You can work an ordinary job and be a protector/provider of a man. The extremes are what women think they want but what they really want is a toned down version of that in my honest opinion.
- Have an "edge" personality wise. When she wants to feel the edge she just has to push boundaries. The edge is not a temper tantrum - a screaming crazy person - it is a sharp tone of voice and a "do not fuuk with me" body language. It is a very short and on the mark response to male fitness testing behavior.
Tonight it was threatening to spank her if she didn't sit down and relax while I went to pick up our son from his driving lesson. This is the sweet and sour sauce - the sweet is picking him up - the sour is spanking her if she argues about it. I don't know how that would work with other women - works really well with her.
- It is not whining and complaining and talking about "negative" feelings I have. If I am scared about something I work on making the negative outcome less likely. FCS - man up - you are here to make HER feel safe - if you need a mommy don't expect to get laid very often.
- It is getting really good at something/somethings so when you take charge it is based on skill and ability not just monkey aggression.....
I am very nice and quite helpful. I made a killer dinner tonight. BUT if there is a reciprocity issue or she takes a "tone" with me - then she gets as much edge as she seems to want.
__________________ D DAY: Monday, April 1, 2013 And now it's your chance to move on
Change the way you've lived for so long
And find the strength you've had inside all along
'Cause life starts now
Women like a-holes. But they marry nice guys and them dump them when they cheat on them for a-holes who some other woman dumped.
I hope you're planning on starting your own thread soon. I know you don't see any resolution to your current issues with your wife, but I really think the men on this site can steer you in the right direction. Your wife is a piece of work, but you can resolve this and be happy. Stop letting her win.
Women like a-holes. But they marry nice guys and them dump them when they cheat on them for a-holes who some other woman dumped.
Not true. I think it's horrible and a sad testament to today's woman that you feel that way. I can honestly say that an "a-hole" wouldn't last ten seconds with me.
I don't want a dominant man (except, as FOAL said..in the bedroom! ). Wouldn't work for me. I want a partner. I don't need someone telling when, how or where to do something, or how to act. Dominant men tend to do these things. Partnership. That's for me.
No one wants an A-Hole, but I think women do want a strong man. A strong man is confident, will take charge when need be without stepping all over a women, have a voice without denying the woman hers, and be able to voice what he wants and needs.
An a-hole demands instead of asking, drags the woman along instead of taking charge and leading, is arrogant and not confident, and abuses his voice, or uses it negatively while denying the woman any voice (I suppose a lot of this would also describe the female version of a B**ch and a good woman)
__________________ D DAY: Monday, April 1, 2013 And now it's your chance to move on
Change the way you've lived for so long
And find the strength you've had inside all along
'Cause life starts now
I hope you're planning on starting your own thread soon. I know you don't see any resolution to your current issues with your wife, but I really think the men on this site can steer you in the right direction. Your wife is a piece of work, but you can resolve this and be happy. Stop letting her win.
See the weird thing is that everything else aside I am 1 million percent sure my wife would never ever cheat on me in any fashion. Call it loyalty or repression or whathaveyou, but there it is. I can only speak from experience at second hand.
Virtually 100% of the married or formerly married women my wife and I know have or are carrying on affairs. 2 are married to the men they cheated with. All but one is divorced and the one who isn't is married to a guy who bugged their phones and knew about her affair(s) almost from day 1. But in every other case, even if you take what they say or said about their husbands at face value and those guys are every bit the losers their wives described them as, their current mates are EVEN BIGGER LOSERS and they wouldn't argue with you. They're lazier, slimier, drunker, creepier and less successful. And the women are already half out the door to the next poor dumb creep.
So do women want a-holes? Yeah I think so. Or at the least they want someone they think are a-holes in relation to THEM. One woman's broken bird I'll-fix-you syndrome is another woman's superiority over someone she doesn't think very highly of (nor should she).
As a middle aged couple, my wife and I sometimes look back on the early years and make fun of ourselves. I'm a very high motivated dominant driver. When we went through counseling before our marriage, I cringed every time it was brought up because it seems that society links this to being selfish, inconsiderate and uncaring. Finally, my wife said, "will you quit trying to deny it? I like it." Then, I went to work in a place that adjusts your career track based on your personality. My data sheet says "Dominant Driver".
It seems that my family's favorite past time is putting on the sad romances on DVD night. I'm the one that cries through every one of them.
The tactic that has helped me in my marriage is to learn the areas (which are many) where my wife is smarter and best suited to lead, and be her supporter in these areas.
I am the more dominate in our marraige. I feel opposites attract for VERY good reasons, one being peace & tranquility in the home. Funny, cause my ever loving sensitive patient easy going husband has always been attracted to the "Rough" females, he seriously is turned on by the whip & chain type. I always laugh at this, not that I am this, but I could make a wicked female Drill Sergant - just ask my kids. And I will say, 95% of the time our marraige works beautifully.
It is true, sometimes I wish he showed more of that dominance in the bedroom (I have started threads over this) but besides this, I have not missed it or longed for it. I simply know I would KNOCK heads with another similar to myself.
He does have dominance in the way MEM describes, not as monkey aggression but SKILL on the job, integrity with people -earning others Respect. If these things can be classified as a form of dominance? Sounds good to me!
He surely feels my equal, I don't believe all lesser dominants/passive types all beg or cry to their mates, that all are "wimpy". Many times he laughs at my "aggression" when I get upset & start ranting about something. He KNOWS how to bring the "calm" back into my world. The Role of the Protector maybe. He is our large families sole Provider. If these things can be classified as Dominant, not really sure. He surely carries HIS load- and does it well.
I have a very close friend who I would call a typical dominate male, we fight alot -cause we both love to stir the pot & debate, he would probably NOT put up with me -and tells me this many times , and I feel the same about him!
2 dominates living together might = HELL. And 2 passives living together would probably be very boring & uneventful.
So the key is : Finding the man or woman who compliments our very differing personalities, who fills in the holes where we are not "that" way -this is a Beautiful thing.
And , I ,being the more dominant do very much Enjoy the emotional/sensitive side of the lesser dominate male, not that I think that always goes away with a more dominate man, but I LOVE the mush, the doting, all that connectedness from the sweet more passive male. He does not need to distance himself from me to keep my attraction to him. (but I do not deny this works for many women) That would probably tick me off accually- then I would have to go find my whips & chains.
42Likes
Re: Do women want a dominant man? 
and very well said.
). Wouldn't work for me. I want a partner. I don't need someone telling when, how or where to do something, or how to act. Dominant men tend to do these things. Partnership. That's for me.
I have no shame. 
