lostinlove1

After posting my story I have finally said enough, i told my husband he needed to leave last night, and that he was being cruel telling me he didn't love me and still hanging around. I told him he has changed so much and that it was selfish of him to have given up on us without discussing it with me to say the least. Well i said a lot more and even kept it together whilst saying it. The end result was he hugged me and told me maybe he was being a little harsh on his leaving. I left as i needed to go out but soon returned to him asking if i wanted to give it another shot, of course i said yes then started to say, unless he is willing to give it 100% is it not worth it he cut me off and said he will really give a go! He then came out to tell me he cant make any promises and doesn't want me to get me hopes up. I was gutted, i said you didnt' need to tell me that i know it is what it is and unless we both try we will never know. He then said look it may work and my not i just wanted to say that. I felt instantly all my hope gone, i thought he is just on some control power trip, i have came across as hopeless and insecure, that is so not what i wanted - I dont' want his pitty vote. Anyway i returned back to our bed and found that we had had quite intimate sex, then when i woke later in the evening to find him still awake tossing and turning (as he has issues with falling asleep) i said i will go sleep in the spare room so maybe you can get to sleep. See i meant nothing by it but i have told i snore and thought maybe i was making it hard for him to get to sleep. Morning rose and he said bye as he left for work, short blunt! I have later text him to say hey just wishing you a great day, to get no reply i then text him to say i was just wishing you a nice day and he replied and i quote "ok" gosh what am i doing here, what am i doing wrong, if you can give me any suggestions on how i should be acting i would appreciate it, i feel like the devil (my head) is on my shoulder telling me there is no hope but my angel (my heart) is telling not to give up just be loving and give him space. please ladies help me..........

Susan2010

You don't need anyone's advice after that.

You don't need anyone's advice after that.

I don't know the games he's playing, but he has you all wrapped up in them. Take back control of your life. I know you love him, but he keeps giving you clues but you are not getting the message. Make him leave now. I didn't understand your other thread where he said he "would give you the house if he could afford to." The house is yours, yours and the children. Just make him leave. I don't find anything in either of your threads where the two of you tried to talk about why he fell out of love with you. He says he did, so I guess there is nothing that can be done. It would be different if he wanted to try to fix things, but he doesn't. He just wants out of the marriage. I don't understand what's going on or what it is you are not telling us, but it's better for you to make him leave than to keep trying to hang onto hope that isn't there. He told you not to have any hope. If later he decides he made a mistake, maybe the two of you will want to work it out for real. But for now, he is being very unfair. You should let him know he cannot keep doing this to you, so go pack his bags.

lostinlove1

thanks susan2010, I know I am just holding onto hope. It sort of makes the pain a little more bearable. Yesterday afternoon we had it out and i told him to leave!!!!!! I asked him what was up when he came home and he said he was having second thoughts on his staying, I lost it and told him to pack. He seemed surprised however i was so angry for him hurting me constantly. I had text him on my way out to collect our youngest from gym saying he has hurt me for the last time and it was his mistake and loss. I told our youngest that dad was leaving for a while to sort out some stuff and that he just needed to go away, this prompted him to talk to both the boys last night. I imagine that was not easy for him however it was real. He did send me a text saying he did not say he did not want to still try however i told him to leave. I replied with a lovely (lol)text stating in no uncertain terms that this was his choice not mine and no matter what he tells himself or others the truth is that he wanted out. So today is the first day that it has been real - my husband is leaving me. Very hard!!!!!!!

dubcoza

From a guy, your husband seems to be a total jerk. The best thing to do is to divorce him. As hard as it may be, its better to be alone and happy, than married and miserable...