I hope there isn't a thread started in six months by a guy talking about his suspicion that his wife is falling for her horse trainer.
"I get the feeling that she has a thing for him, but she denies it"
"She says they are just friends"
"She says that she would never cheat on me"
You're half way there right now, LLL. All it will take is a fight with your husband or something like that and you are vulnerable. If you go much further you will enter that "fog" that people talk about where you will start doing things you normally wouldn't do and won't know why. A lot of women (and men too) enter this period of mid-life crisis and boredom with their marriages and spouses and it makes them get real stupid and risk everything.
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I understand how you feel.You are still young,maybe you are just attracted to the guy in some way without knowing him very well.That`s normal to attract to people in the world beside your husband,but you should knowing that if you still in love with your husband.Communicate with your husband to get the feeling back,right now you prob just didnt spend enough time with him.
Well thanks for sharing.
It is fairly common to have a crush on your horse trainer. I've been showing horses for years and always have a crush on the trainer. We travel together, have stayed in the same house together for up to 3 weeks at a time, talk on the phone and text daily and are just really good friends. He's not trying to get into my pants and I'm not trying to get into his. We are both happily married and I happen to think he's incredibly hot. I think Mark Harmon is hot, too, but I'm not going to quit watching NCIS
hmmm.. there's no wrong to be attracted with other man but be very careful not to fall in love with that guy. If you are attracted to other guy there's a get problem along the way: you might not notice it but your feeling is changing toward that person is growing and it is my fear that it your love to your husband will slightly diminished. Hope it will not.
LLL, if you don't want to wind up on the "Going through divorce" section here, drop that Horse Whisperer like a greased bowling ball. You are already showing signs of the good guy/bad guy fog.
You need to tell your husband what is going on with you emotionally because you're obviously having an emotional affair with this guy - if only from your side of the relationship.
And yes Mr. Horsey is trying to get into your pants.
Sounds like your best bet is to get another horse trainer. It's not worth the risk with this one. You can trust yourself, but can you trust him with you? When the crush is mutual, that's when the sparks fly, then you could lose.
She must get rid of the horse guy. The more she sees him, the more he's going to look like the "better deal", and the more her H is going to look like "the jerk that's ruining my life and keeping me from true happiness", i.e., the good guy/bad guy fog. Then she will convince herself to leave her H for horse guy (this infatuation was based on a mutual love of horses, nothing more, it seems), and horse guy will eventually not look so good himself, particularly when his job brings him in contact with a string of other women who are also in a vulnerable state, and she will start wondering why she left H in the first place, but by then-too late!
I WOULD NEVER EVER CHEAT ON HIM/HER...The greatest myth in relationships.
Why does it have to be a myth? I have seen nothing but infidelity in my immediate and extended family of origin. I don't have the stomach or the patience for it, after all that dishonesty.
Some people really don't want to cheat, because they see the pain it causes.
All men are chivalrous when they are trying to charm their way into your pants.
I tend to agree with this.
Nothing is wrong with having a crush on another man, as long as the feelings are not acted on. The OP is married, not dead.
I have a huge crush on a celebrity and I have also noticed attractive men at work. While I ride the subway, sexy guys try to pick me up all the time. It's flattering, but I take that energy and let my husband reap the benefits.
It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, AS LONG AS YOU EAT AT HOME!
Is that normal?? Do any of you ladies have this happen? I'm 26 (my husband is 25) and we've been married for 2 years...and all of a sudden I have a crush on the 30 yr old adorable man that is helping me train my horse in exchange for a video of a horse he's trying to sell.
I don't know if maybe it's just the fact that my husband has NOTHING to do with horses, and this guy is AMAAAAZING with them (which is incredibly sexy to me)...so we have that in common, or if it's his chivalry-which you don't find much anymore. I'm VERY independent, but it's nice to have a guy take over and saddle my horse for me, and ride him first to make sure I'm not going to get bucked off. I find myself thinking about this guy all day long, and feeling guilty because the butterflies in my stomach are not for my husband right now. I've recently lost 35 pounds, and have tried to get my husband more active to loose some of the weight he has packed on as well (he's 6'2", and about 290#). He's a big teddy bear and I love how strong he is, but I don't find him "sexy" right now. I do...however find this horse trainer extremly sexy. I would NEVER EVER cheat on my husband...I've been cheated on before in a long-term relationship, and I would never want to inflict that pain on someone else.
Just wanted to see what everyone's take was on this...is it normal to be this infactuated with someone that is not your husband???? HELP!!
Hi LLL,
You can be rational but you can't lie to your feelings.
When it's a crush, it's a crush. There's no way to force yourself to get away from that crush.
You can try to cut off contact with that trainer, but it's very hard for you to remove that crush from your heart.
Withdrawing your passion from where it started is a very tough, yet, almost impossible task... for you can't lie to your heart, telling it that you don't need him and you don't want him, your heart knows very well what it wants.
2 suggestions for you:
1. Tell your husband to lose weights and tell him that he must work on regaining his charms for you.
2. Ask constant sex from your husband, he should give you orgasms 5 times per round, I recommend.
When you're totally satisfied by your husband, you would feel you don't have any sexual needs for that guy. You will still think of him but the feelings for him will be weakened.
Re: I have a crush...and it's not on my husband 
