07-08-2010, 02:39 PM
Join Date: Mar 2010
| | Confused on marraige life
I have written on this site before, basically, this month will be a year that we will be married, starting from the 2nd month into our marriage. My husband and I would fight every weekend about his drinking. I would plead and cry to him to stop drinking, that this is not him. He wasn't violent, but he just didn't know when to stop and didn't know his limit.. to the point where it was just so embarrassing to see him like that.. which hurted me numerous time. I have tried to until he got arrested for DWI - he had to wear those scram bracelet for 3 months, and is currently on probation and attending classes. as soon as the bracelet went off, he was at the bar. he was like he knows his limit which is two drinks, i said fine, now u know and be more responsible now.
Going further, he would go by our friends house and drink with the guys.. And than turn around and talk so negatively about me to my own friends. They would come back and tell me, and i would just brush it aside. The final straw was for his bday that he got so drunk and I was so embarrass. I told him stop, his parents intervene.. That didnít help. than over the weekend, he was drinking 3 days straight and talk negatively about me. I told him I was done, and he wanted to work things out.. My mom got involve, and spoke to him, and advice to me I should give it one more chance. I hope I am doing the right thing. My friends think I have gotten weak, and that he got his fingers twisted around my mom and I. He was good for that week, he helped cooked, clean and was good Ė than for his brotherís bday I told him only 2 drinks, which ended up with 4 Ė I let that go. Than another night, he went to the bar and I was with him, he had 2 when I wasnít there and than another 2 again. He was fine, but when we got home, we got into another argument, and he walked out, and came back smelling like beer. I just got so irritated. That he never puts me into consideration when he drinks.
It has come to the point, where as, I donít go anywhere with him anymore Ė My friends donít want him around, and he doesnít even go anywhere, but this is all his doing.
He continues to drink once again and I hate this side and despise him, because I feel like my past is re-occurring, having a father and ex has an alcoholic. He drinks 2- 4 beers or so, and its gets me so upset that he does this and hate to see him look like this Ė after all the fighting during the moment, the next day he wants to make things better. I am up to my wit with this, and sad to say unhappy
I have no emotions in any loving way for him right now... he battered it so much, that I cant even force to love him that way as before. I do care for him, but how much more can a person take. He said he will try, I just hope he will do it for himself and for us. . I just want to move away by myself and live alone. Is it normal to want and feel this so soon? He knows that I donít love him as much as I use to and he wants to make things better. But I have given up hope and donít want to try anymore.
What would you do? I am only 30 years old Ė but I have so much to put in consideration if I decide to leave - Such as my family and his.