12-26-2010, 10:57 PM
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: SE Wisconsin
| | Re: Help me understand?
Sorry to hear you are in this situation.
It's pretty typical of some mental health disorders for people to move rapidly from one mood to another--like loving you one moment, blaming and hating you the next (mostly triggered by conflict). You say she is narcissistic; is that an actual diagnosis or something you have observed (which appears to be pretty astute on your part, given the behavior you noted).
Will she agree to counseling, or is everything that is happening "your fault" (according to her)? If she is unwilling to get help--for the marriage, and maybe for herself--then the way you read her may be correct and she will never change b/c she will assume you are always the one with the problem.
If you can get her to agree to counseling, then give it a try, because it sounds like you'd prefer to reconcile. A good therapist can help direct both of you to better communication, but it all depends on whether she is really willing to try. Otherwise, you might just be in for more pain and moving on would be best for you.
It's also possible that her behavior is really irratic b/c she is very confused, but it does not sound as much like that. Still, someone reading it from a website does not have a great handle on it; your perception is probably more accurate. What do you think is going on?
Anyway, these are just some thoughts and maybe they will help. I wish you luck and God's blessing in working throught it, no matter where that takes you.