There is a lot of background to my husband's way of communicating the way he does...but in short: His father had some pretty nasty depression issues when my hubby was growing up, and anything that went wrong was automatically my hubby's fault....Now that he's grown (well, he's 24) the minute I bring up the opposing side of a discussion he shuts down and automatically becomes defensive because he feels like he's being attacked apparently. I try to use calm, understanding tones of voice, and phrasing what I want to say as a question, instead of "telling" him so it won't seem so invasive...but it doesn't work.
We were discussing a large purchase today, and I had to just stop talking to him because he wasn't listening to my reasoning's anyway. He constantly thinks of his rebuttal before I'm even done speaking, and thinks my way of thinking is ridiculous because I want to be sure we'll be "ok" financially if we add more bills to our huge pile already.
Somehow, I feel like there is an underlying issue. Nothing (material-wise) is ever good enough for him. He has a 2008 F-350 that has everything under the sun done to it, he has a re-built '79 F-150 that he spent a CRAP LOAD of money to get done...and now he wants to sell it to buy a muscle car to rebuild, He just bought a brand new 4 wheeler and EVERYTHING that you could customize on it, he buys new clothes/hats every couple weeks, we have a brand new home & landscaping yet he wants to sell it and build a bigger one in a couple years. Don't get me wrong, I
have plenty of material possessions as well, but it seems like he's always looking for the "next best thing". I feel like he's trying to fill a hole inside with all this crap he's wanting/buying. Or...maybe I'm a little jealous?! I resent the fact that our 1 spare room in the house was turned into his "game room" and I have to run my part-time photography business out of my kitchen because we don't have room for a home office.
Anyway...back to the issue I suppose. This whole thing came about because of a money discussion today, but I just don't know how to talk to him when we have opposing opinions without it turning into a fight