I am at my wits end! It seems I cannot ask my husband to do a single thing around the house without being yelled at and told I am not his mother so stop telling him what to do! He was raised with his father working full time and his mother staying home to raise the kids, cook, and clean. This is why, I think, he comes home from work and plants himself in front of the computer, breaking only for a quick meal, and then back to the World of Warcraft. When I get home an hour after him (I work full time, too), it is my duty to cook and serve dinner, clean up afterward, and do laundry until bedtime. Heaven forbid he not be able to find anything to wear in the morning! Then, on nights when his daughter is at our house, I am responsible for her, too! She's with us for a week at a time in the summer, and I am the one packing her lunches, getting her things together for the days activities, and getting her dressed and ready in the morning - all why he's still sleeping (we also have two dogs that I am taking outside and feeding - oh, and I try to get myself ready too). Too boot, I am out the door an hour before him, and must call every morning to make sure he's been able to get himself out of bed. I am responsible for budgeting and paying bills and basically running the entire household. He does do a lot of work around the outside of the house, but generally only on weekends. I just wish I had the luxury of coming home after working 9-10 hour days (he only works 8) and just hanging out. And the kicker? I'm 3 months pregnant. I know, I know, ask him to share some of the daily duties. Unfortunately, he's also got an insane temper. He throws a fit and calls me names if I ask him to do something as simple as "can you please take the dogs out?" or "If I cook, can you clean up and throw the dishes in the dish-washer?" I get called a control freak, and some of the worst names in the book. Because of his out-of-control temper, I generally just bit my tongue and do everything myself. It's hard for me to deal with, though, cause I was raised in a family where my parents both worked, and both shared the house-hold responsibilities. We were a team, and we all worked together. I am just so tired and it breaks my heart to hear my husband say he hates me and I am the worst thing that has ever happened to him. Any suggestions? I need my life back, and don't want to raise my unborn child in this environment. Please help!
I feel so sorry for you dear, especially that you are 3 months pregnant, I really cant stand men like this.
I think you should sit him down and talk to him on this matter before asking him to do any chores. May be he needs to be prepared and given a routine in advance and not be told to do things here and there. What I am trying to say is both of you can come up with a household schedule.
I used to have this problem, my DH hates taking orders or being told what to do, he felt that i m nagging and ended up not touching a single thing. Then we sat down and worked out the problem. I let him choose any 3 things he will do and he chose his own laundry, washing dishes and vaccuming after I cook.
Firstly, try to calm down (i know its easy said than done) for your baby's sake, your emotional state will affect your baby's emotional state, if u want a happy and calm baby you should relax, take deep breath and find the right solution. Every problem as a solution.
If he continues with his temper I don't think it is proper for him to be around any child. Maybe an anger management course would help him but chances are it wouldn't and the fact he is addicted to an online game doesn't help.
Just kidding, but i'm sure its tempting at times. My husband is the same way. I work too, but he's the one allowed to relax and have some downtime after work. I feel so resentful toward him, i know its not healthy for our marriage.
I have many thoughts of busting our computer, but I know he'd just go buy another one even though we can't afford it.
This is a very touchy subject and I know what you're feeling. Until fairly recently, I was in the same boat. My husband's behavior was driving me into a deep depression and I was losing respect for him as I was feeling more and more resentful and distant from him. As a last resort before seeking professional help, I thought I would try to sit him down and tell my hubby how it made me feel when I was the only one doing the majority of things to sustain the household. This was extremely hard for me since I was terribly afraid of what he would do to me if I pushed him to his boiling point. My intention was not to lay on guilt, but just to give him a sense of where I was coming from instead of just letting him do whatever he wanted and ignore me and the household duties.
For some couples that is all it takes is communicating feelings. In our case, however, it took some counseling too. I initially went by myself since I didn't know what else to do and knew I had to seek some sort of professional help to keep up my pace of life. It took quite a while for my husband to agree to come with me as he didn't think he was part of the problem. But, after going with me, he finally realized how much of a jerk he was being to me. He is now working with me more and I love him even more than I ever had.
I encourage you both to seek counseling as it has done wonders for us.
I dont't play. It is not in my make-up. If he is not helping and refuses to do anything for you, the house, or himself; GO ON STRIKE. DO MINIMAL. COOK FOR YOURSELF. WASH YOUR OWN CLOTHES. He will either wise up or he is too stupid to realize how good he has it. Above all, dont wear yourself out, you have a baby on the way. It will only get worse if you let him get away with the pattern behavior now.
I went on strike in March 08. I only did thingks around the house that I needed to do for safety sake. I walked over dirty clothes. I used paper plates and let dishes pile up in the sink. I washed only my clothes. After 6 days, my family got it and now we are a team.
"Tough times call for drastic measures"
Husband Won't Help
after I cook. 
