How can i 'get over' a girl that i am in love with...?

cbachinger · 06-25-2008, 09:10 AM

I have a so-called infatuation with a girl from work but ive had it for 6 months nonstop but she is only happy for a friendship.

It hurts me to not being able to be with her but she is content with how things are. I have respected her thoughts and promised her that i will accept a strict friendship.

How can i 'forget' about my feelings? It is very difficult for me over her. I thought i was doing well for 2 weeks but then when i was walking with her on the beach today, they all came back but when i said "i am enjoying this time with you!" she seemed to feel my emotion and without looking at me said "uh ha".

I am sure that women can have similar problems with these situations but they seemed to have mastered this technique!

Also, what can be done if you are feeling lonely? My only easy resolution is to lie on my bed, relax and kind come to terms.

justean · 06-25-2008, 12:20 PM

ok i can only tell you from my experiences.
but hubby and i split and i met a bloke.
not as close in location or proximity as you are with this girl. but nevertheless i simply found i enjoyed my time with him, but there was no chemistry .
he actually told me , i was one of the easiest of people to fall in love with. and although i had a nice time.
nothing could be built as we just did not have the foundations to build upon.
personally she sounds in your comments - friendship is important, it was when i met this bloke.
in the end i broke of contact with this bloke as i felt i had the respect not to keep him dangling.i.e no calls, no going out together, no txts - nothing.

dont mean to be personal but from your photo, your a good looking bloke and if you have confidence in yourself. you can move on. but when your single , as i have been b 4, then in order to live with yourself, you have to like yourself. spend time with yourself.

my advice is best keep a distance, dont go for walks. its like your reeling yourself on the fish hook.

actually as for being lonely, because i like myself, i can be in my own company. so i dont get lonely.
also what are your interests, hobbies.
i.e i horse ride. so i entwine myself in the peace of my horse and the countryside. my favourite colour is green, so its all about taking it all in.
the freedom of the air that we breath. having time to yourself.
read a book.
you have to go out with some mates or mate.
dress smart, shave and aftershave.

draconis · 06-25-2008, 02:24 PM

Do things for yourself like going to a gym.

draconis

cbachinger · 06-26-2008, 12:08 AM

You are actually right

As i said, before i spent time with her yesterday, i was actually on happier terms with her because i was actually keeping a distance, just saying hi to her as i walked past and sometimes having a short friendly chat as i worked in her area.

But being closer to her honestly made my hormones go mad and so it was a little invisible slap in the face when she replied a little coldly to me.

So i must just spent time away from her when i can; on average i see her briefly twice a day and it seems comfortable

I belief that I have developed a nasty thought that i treasure female company more than male company. I will quickly accept a female invitation but i will normally make an excuse if a guy asks me. I believe its because i miss female company and that this comes from being single for 6 months-and in china it is not normally socially acceptable to touch ladies.

I do love myself, in terms that if i want something that will make me feel good or happy, i will buy or do it. If i want to spoil myself in some way and i can afford it, i will. I know that i am a special person and that i am capable of many things that most people cannot do and that i can help people with these capabilities. That is what i enjoy doing-helping others. But not in voluntary work but as i go through life.

justean · 06-27-2008, 07:13 AM

what you got is not a nasty thought.
dont be silly.
i find i get on better with male company - because they dont ***** like women.
and you have your own reasons for prefering female company - nothing odd in that.
i think if you find you can detach from her, you will move on.
and why wouldnt your hormones rage - you have been single for 6 months. your what they call normal.
but because you could only focus on her, you never let n e thing else in. thats nornal to.

you were probably more infatuated than in love.