08-03-2010, 12:10 PM
Join Date: May 2010
| | Any suggestions?
My boyfriend claimed the other day that I'm clingy. I can admit to being insecure, my relationship history causes that, and it's nothing to do with him. I know that that is my problem to deal with, and I'm working on that. I disagree that I'm clingy, but I also know that sometimes we refuse to see things for what they are, so in the interest of trying to work things out, I'm going to stop disagreeing, and assume here for a moment, that I am clingy.
How do I stop doing that? His examples of me being clingy are a claim that I follow him when he goes out to smoke (which we already discussed and have resolved and he admits that I don't), he claims that I panic if I don't hear from him and send him tons of texts or leave tons of messages, which I can prove from my phone bill that I don't. I will text him once, just to tell him I love him or remind him of something he needs to do, but I do not repetitively text or call him.
Again, I can admit I am insecure. And yes, if I go a couple of days without hearing from him, I do start to wonder why, and I don't think that's so unusual, given the problems we're having right now.
Again, I don't really feel I'm clingy, but I'm trying to see this from his point of view. I'm trying to figure out how we can both get what we need out of this relationship. And, just so you don't think this is all onesided, he's doing the same thing. He's looking at what he's told me and trying to figure out where maybe he's not being clear in his expectations, or where he's taking something small and blowing it into something big (example: I went out with him when he smoked once, and it became everytime in his head). So, we are both working on this, and trying to see from the other's side.
So, I'm trying to figure out, if I am too clingy, how would I change that? What could I do to stop?