09-12-2010, 05:04 AM
Join Date: Sep 2010
| | Re: Being A Typical Man?
I also bottle things up and can go quiet for a considerable length of time which to me (in my head) isn’t anything major but to my wife i’m being silent and moody and ignoring her needs.
How come I think I am just a female version of you. I used to be like this. I was not happy with what my husband was doing. Just some small things. Cultural misunderstanding. I wouldn't say anything. I just put up with it. But then one day I couldn't take it any more, I exploded. It is like blowing a balloon. It has to blow up one day. Now I realize I have this problem. I just tell my husband right way I don't like it if he did something I don't like. But we have being together for seven years, we know what we like and what we don't like. So I don't need to do it often.
I want to spread my time between everybody but tend to get caught up with trying to please everybody and eventually just giving up and sitting down and ignoring it all.
I am a perfectionist. I want everybody to like me. So I was doing all I could to please others, even though very often I couldn't say what was really in my mind. My husband used to have many religious friends. He didn't like them very much. It is what he grew up with. He introduced me to them. I had to pretend that I liked their religion. When I talked to my mother-in-law, I had to be careful with my tongue. I had to pretend that I liked their religion. It put me into quite a few years of misery. I tried to make them happy just because my husband had connection with them. They didn't even respect my husband. Anyway, finally, I broke down. I stopped going to their meetings. I realized if I fake myself just so they can accept me, it's not good for me. Now I feel much more peaceful. Why do we try so hard to make others happy if we have to sacrifice our happiness. I won't do these kinds silly things anymore. If people like me, they like me. If they don't like me. Why do I care. I don't live for them.
Now I focus all my attention on my husband. He is the most important person in my life. If he is happy, then I am happy. I don't waste my energy on other people. If they are in conflict with my husband, I choose my husband. It is my husband who looks after me when I am sick. It is my husband who holds me when I am frustrated. It is my husband who goes out to work and provide me a happy life. It is my husband who will grow old with me.
I am an understanding wife. I know what my husband wants, so I do my best to meet his needs. I am a good wife because my husband is a great husband. He knows what I want and what makes me happy. A happy marriage needs two people to work together. You have to know what she likes and try to satisfy her needs, she has to know what you like and try to satisfy your needs.
Last edited by greenpearl; 09-12-2010 at 05:12 AM.