Hi all, I could use some perspective. I have been married for 1.5 yrs (together 5yrs).
My husband and I had some issues emerge right after getting married. I had found out he was very secretive about our relationship - he did not tell his family we had married and his coworkers didn't know I existed. We have careers in neighboring cities and I was unaware of this until we after we married/started planning to join our households.
We married in the courthouse with the plan of a wedding ceremony & rings afterward.
After the secretive stuff, we had a big argument and he canceled our ceremony, my dress and our rings.
It was a terrible time for us, I went "home" and we had numerous discussions abut our future etc.
Since then we now live together, and he has followed through with most of my expectations (introducing me, telling people etc).
Whatever the cause most of that now seems to be behind us. What started all of this - I honestly don't know, I don't feel I have ever gotten a real explanation. But he has "fixed" it so to speak. I have decided to let most of it go in order to move forward with our marriage.
We are doing great on the day to day with each other, and have been for the last year. His coworkers like me, we socialize etc. He keeps saying he still wants a party but he is now very busy with work so I frankly don't expect it to happen. Now that so much time is passing, it seems silly to pursue.
What does bother me still is our rings. He says he wants them and for several reasons (some legitimate) keeps postponing having them made, the design is nearly finished and the jeweler has had us on hold for 1.5yrs.
He said recently he would talk to the jeweler and start the process but he didn't, saying he got busy etc. I can't help but feel he is being evasive and postponing.
I have told him the rings are important to me, and I know he is a little old fashioned in that he originally wanted to be the one to design and "surprise" me with a ring. I have offered to work on it for us but he wants to do it.
Dang. I guess I feel a little cheated, we had a wonderful but quick little ceremony with the idea of everything after the fact. I guess I feel a little "tricked" or just let down now. This is my first marriage, his second.
I don't want to demand a ring, that just seems sad, this was something something for us both.
I don't know, maybe none of this matters, it is just a ring. Perhaps I should just let it go but it still stings.
Thanks for reading, I appreciate any thoughts, Kes