Originally Posted by tmone23
He does this plenty of times and i am thinking of leving him
Leaving him is the only advice you should be receiving, so I am begging you to please, please, please ignore anyone telling you to go to counseling or to try anything else. To do anything at all except leave is actually telling you to tolerate the abuse since it will take time for any other attempted remedy to be fail or succeed.Surely my eyes deceive me to see women telling a woman to put up with being abused. Unbelievable! But I guess it is soooo insanely common that women tolerate abuse that they don't know how to tell someone else to handle it.
PLEASE LEAVE NOW!
Once you are out of the house and away from your abuser, THEN the two of you can consider trying counseling. Most women return very shortly after leaving because he begs & apologizes, makes promises to change, and tells her how much he loves her.
But you must believe the begging and apologizing normal and are only meant to serve the purpose of convincing you to return so he can abuse you some more.
The promises to change are futile because he DOES NOT recognize the error of his ways since only counseling can help him do that. He will behave for a few days, and then return to his abusive ways.
And, of course, he will say he loves you and whisper all the other sweet things he knows you want to hear - all the things he did and said to convince you to be with him and fall in love with him in the first place. He is a skillful artist who targeted you so he would have someone to abuse.
But you must leave and stay away until he proves a sincere commitment to changing, which means you should demand he seek counseling and wait for him to attend several sessions to prove himself truly remorseful and making sincere effort.
Incidentally, this is not marriage counseling. Abuse has nothing to do with the marriage. He needs counseling for abusers
. If there are other problems in the marriage, then you need marriage counseling, but not for this.
I know that link says "batterers" but domestic violence also includes verbal/emotional/psychological abuse, not just physical abuse.