My wife left and I need advice.

thx1138 · 08-08-2008, 01:46 PM

Ladies,

I need advice. My wife of 11 years left and she took the kids. She went to her mothers house which is just 15 mins from here. She claims to not love me any more and hasnt for the past 2 years. Which I find hard to believe because she said NOTHING to me about this.

She left because a while ago, we lost our house in foreclosure and we have been living with my parents. She wants her own place and I had a hard time getting a job for a while, so saving to get out is next to impossible.

Everyone says to give her some space. But what about me? I am boiling inside because I feel that I deserve better after 11 years to have her not talk at all.

I dont know what to do.

Thanks

THX1138

draconis · 08-08-2008, 02:17 PM

I am a guy as you can se but I have advise anyways.

Even though you ma not have sen a problem for the last two years, she ma not have said there was a problem or you just didn't hear what she was saying.

To save your marrriage you need to communicate and find the root of the problems and se if the two of you can deal with them. But the start is communication, an it maybe that the problem gre because you two just could not communicate well enough.

Most marriages don't just end all of he sudden and often people bury the real problems hey have and simply do not talk about them because it is easier at the time then fighting about them. The down side is in the fact that buried problems cause resentment towards the person who is later blindsided, as you know.

draconis

thx1138 · 08-08-2008, 04:22 PM

I knew she was upset about moving and losing the house. We put a lot of work into and it was our first house.

the problem I have is that she doesnt want to communicate with me, she wants to bark orders and tell me it might be a month or a year.

I still think that after 11 years, I deserve a better statement than that.

I would feel better if she said, call me in 2 weeks after I have calmed down.

thx

827Aug · 08-09-2008, 08:17 PM

How long had your family been living with your parents? How do your wife and parents get along? I imagine there was a lot of tension around the house. Even under idea situations that living arrangement is tough. Based on the information given, I think I'd just give her some time to sort things out.

thx1138 · 08-11-2008, 01:32 PM

We are about to go on 1 year now. During the time when we were living with my parents, my dad died and my mom lost the social security so I had to start contributing to the mortgage. So that meant that all the money I was making went to her mortgage.

As it turned out, my mom was holding the house because she didnt want us on the street and I wanted to help keep the house too because I grew up there.

We ended up talking on saturday and I am seeing a marriage counsellor tonight. She agreed to go with me on the second visit.