Emotionally detached husband?? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-20-2010, 06:54 PM Thread Starter
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Emotionally detached husband??

Hi ladies,

I've been with my man now for almost 12 years (married for 2) and I've noticed a big change in him.

He seems very detached these days to me and we've had problems over the last few months. We try to talk about it - we've talked about getting a divorce but he swears that he doesn't want to part.

Yet, when things get back on track he goes right back to normal. For example, as soon as he finished work - he'll go straight onto his computer at home and pretty much sit there till I've gone to bed or whatever - wake up and go to work...now he's even going in to work on the weekends?

There are a lot of issues there - but I really don't feel like I'm in a ''marriage'' anymore...it's more like we're flatmates (minus the talking etc and getting along)...

I don't know what to do - I find that at times I try to force myself not to care so that I can cope with this relationship.

Any ideas?
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-20-2010, 08:43 PM
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Re: Emotionally detached husband??

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Originally Posted by Andreas View Post
Hi ladies,

I've been with my man now for almost 12 years (married for 2) and I've noticed a big change in him.

He seems very detached these days to me and we've had problems over the last few months. We try to talk about it - we've talked about getting a divorce but he swears that he doesn't want to part.

Yet, when things get back on track he goes right back to normal. For example, as soon as he finished work - he'll go straight onto his computer at home and pretty much sit there till I've gone to bed or whatever - wake up and go to work...now he's even going in to work on the weekends?

There are a lot of issues there - but I really don't feel like I'm in a ''marriage'' anymore...it's more like we're flatmates (minus the talking etc and getting along)...

I don't know what to do - I find that at times I try to force myself not to care so that I can cope with this relationship.

Any ideas?
He sounds very detached, yes. Probably attracted to some other fun stuffs on the internet.

Working on the weekends is very easy to find out if he's lying.

How's the sex part? also feel detached?
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-21-2010, 02:19 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Emotionally detached husband??

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Originally Posted by MsLonely View Post
He sounds very detached, yes. Probably attracted to some other fun stuffs on the internet.

Working on the weekends is very easy to find out if he's lying.

How's the sex part? also feel detached?

Actually YES, that also feels detached - just feels physical now? I tried to address the problems but I think that made him shut off more...so I tried to shut off too and now I think it's worse. I have no idea what to do. But I am very unhappy at this point.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-22-2010, 07:28 AM
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Re: Emotionally detached husband??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andreas View Post
Hi ladies,

I've been with my man now for almost 12 years (married for 2) and I've noticed a big change in him.

He seems very detached these days to me and we've had problems over the last few months. We try to talk about it - we've talked about getting a divorce but he swears that he doesn't want to part.

Yet, when things get back on track he goes right back to normal. For example, as soon as he finished work - he'll go straight onto his computer at home and pretty much sit there till I've gone to bed or whatever - wake up and go to work...now he's even going in to work on the weekends?

There are a lot of issues there - but I really don't feel like I'm in a ''marriage'' anymore...it's more like we're flatmates (minus the talking etc and getting along)...

I don't know what to do - I find that at times I try to force myself not to care so that I can cope with this relationship.

Any ideas?
You say you have had problems and "there are a lot of issues there"... Why would you think that everything should be OK between you?

If there are unresolved issues, they need to be addressed. That includes lack of sexual intimacy. have you gone to marriage counseling?
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-22-2010, 07:49 AM
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Re: Emotionally detached husband??

Have you ruled out an affair?
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