Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Central Virginia
"Security" can be something of a red herring. A person who wants "security" is looking for a guarantee that you won't ever leave or betray them. But their degree of security will depend on how they feel about themselves--if they are happy with themselves, they'll trust that you will find them attractive, and if they see themselves as competent, they know they won't fall apart/die if you leave.
There are no guarantees in life. When someone is looking for one, I think it means they have a lot of anxiety and are fearful of loss, the unknown, being unable to take care of themselves, or they just fear the terrible sadness that comes from losing someone they love or what they thought was the person they love. Sadness does not kill, but a lot of people are afraid of it.
Now for the big disclaimer: Feeling secure in a relationship comes from A. feeling secure in one's self; and B. trust. Once the trust is broken, that sense of security is challenged. It may well crumble and until the person rebuilds that internal sense of security, they cannot trust. I think a lot more emphasis gets put on rebuilding trust (faith in the other partner) than in rebuilding the internal sense of security (faith in one's self to survive and flourish regardless of the other person or their behavior)
Obviously, this is just my p.o.v. Your mileage may vary!