What made her decide to start going out to a ladies night? Was that addressed at all? It might indicate an issue she's having in the marriage that she hasn't revealed to you.
Leopards don't change their spots overnight. To go from not going out to constantly going out to bars with single women and drinking says to me that there are some issues for her in the marriage.
Did you ever ask her why it was important to her and why the change and need to go out in the first place?
You might have solved the symptom by putting your foot down but are you sure you've solved the problem?
Thank you for your support,
I don`t know if I solved the problem because it is she who needs to realize the harm that she has done already. And that next time could be the end of a good marriage for the sake of what. All I want to know is, what is the best way to get a my point across for her to say wow he means it now. I have been assertive with her always and do not want to be rude but firm.
I think it is good to have ladies night as well as guys night out. I try to get out with my girls atleast once a month. Why don't you and your wife try to designate once a month or twice a month outings so that she still feels she can hang out with her friends, but is more of a scheduled time so you both always know when it will be. As someone who loves my friends and needs to have them in my life I know how important it is to have those nights. Another thing you may want to consider is setting a time that is respectful to be home. My husband and I both talked and agreed that 1am is a suitable time. I think you just need to talk to her before your feelings get bottled up and it is to late because you are about to explode.
I think it is good to have ladies night as well as guys night out. I try to get out with my girls atleast once a month. Why don't you and your wife try to designate once a month or twice a month outings so that she still feels she can hang out with her friends, but is more of a scheduled time so you both always know when it will be. As someone who loves my friends and needs to have them in my life I know how important it is to have those nights. Another thing you may want to consider is setting a time that is respectful to be home. My husband and I both talked and agreed that 1am is a suitable time. I think you just need to talk to her before your feelings get bottled up and it is to late because you are about to explode.
I get your point. However, my wife and I have always had a great dates together on the weekends. We always found something to do and would leave our daughter at my parents or inlaws do we can be all night out. For now I need for us to focus on our family and see if we can meet in the middle later on. in other words, I need the respect back in our home first. Posted via Mobile Device
Thank you,
It has been two weekends now that she has not gone out or mentioned anything to me since the last time. If she was going out with married women for happy hour I have no problems with that. However, going out with divorce and single women is not accepptable. I just need to be strong and firm if this ever comes up again, I will not tolerate it anymore.
Yes, you do...be strong and firm, that is. You need to be prepared to shove (not literally) if push comes to shove. You may have to make a believer out of her. She needs to know this is a drop dead deal breaker for you, and you're not going to tolerate it.
But honestly, I'd still want to find out WHY she feels the need to do this. Happily married and content women usually don't want to spend THIS MUCH time away from the family. It just sounds like there's an issue there somewhere that you don't know about.
Yes, you do...be strong and firm, that is. You need to be prepared to shove (not literally) if push comes to shove. You may have to make a believer out of her. She needs to know this is a drop dead deal breaker for you, and you're not going to tolerate it.
But honestly, I'd still want to find out WHY she feels the need to do this. Happily married and content women usually don't want to spend THIS MUCH time away from the family. It just sounds like there's an issue there somewhere that you don't know about.
I wish she was open with me, I have never given her a reason to not be open with me. She along with her siblings have this problem. She has a problem facing confrentation and being open minded. I feel like I always have to guess what is in her mind, that alone has been the only down fall in our relationship.
I wish she was open with me, I have never given her a reason to not be open with me. She along with her siblings have this problem. She has a problem facing confrentation and being open minded. I feel like I always have to guess what is in her mind, that alone has been the only down fall in our relationship.
Ok, she sounds conflict-avoidant. That doesn't mean that you can't keep trying to get her to open up to you. Is counseling an option? Even if she wouldn't consider marriage counseling, would it be possible for you? A therapist might be able to give you tools in communicating with her in a way that would be helpful.
Ok, she sounds conflict-avoidant. That doesn't mean that you can't keep trying to get her to open up to you. Is counseling an option? Even if she wouldn't consider marriage counseling, would it be possible for you? A therapist might be able to give you tools in communicating with her in a way that would be helpful.
She is very avoidant for sure and never wants to face reality. She went to see a Psychologist last week. The only thing that she said is that she needs to learn how to cope with her situations. It is hard to deal with someone that does not play in the field or team with you. I am as honest and sincere as they come, she knows that. It has been difficult to deal with this in my marriage for nine years and it seems to get worse with time. I just hope she can open up and be totally honest with me some day before it is too late.
This is how we are getting along now, we havent had any intamcy in over a month, we just started kissing (POP KISS) in the morning, when we come home from work and at night to say good night. I don`t want to rush her, but I need to this relationship to spark up again. How should I approach this with her. Again thank you for your support, I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read and post on here. It has been a blessing for me to find a useful resource to my situation from people whom I don`t even know.
Are you open to the idea of counseling for yourself? Have you researched different ways of communicating? It's the world wide web out there, and many good sites dedicated to communication. I wish I had a link for you, but maybe someone here will read this and have one. In the interim, I'd be searching for forms of communication. There's something there that you haven't put your finger on, I'd bet on it.
Are you open to the idea of counseling for yourself? Have you researched different ways of communicating? It's the world wide web out there, and many good sites dedicated to communication. I wish I had a link for you, but maybe someone here will read this and have one. In the interim, I'd be searching for forms of communication. There's something there that you haven't put your finger on, I'd bet on it.
I am seeking for a therapist. I will need one because I have a wife that is not honest or open minded. I feel that when I ask her something I'm not getting the truth now. I feel drain and concern that this will take me to a diffrent path. Right now it is difficult for me because I am the one that does not want to be home because I feel as if the walls were coming on top of me.
I am at a stand still with no solution to make me forget about what she has done in such little time and here I am still in the marriage trying to make it work. I don't see to much effort on her end and that alone is dragging me away. I don't want to get hurt again that's for sure because I do not deserve it. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: Hi Ladies, Newbie here need your advice 
