ellen04

OK My husband and I have been married 3 years almost and we have a 1 year old daughter. I am NEVER interested in sex, when we first got married I actually wanted it more than him, I always had a strong sex drive.Well I think I became depressed during my pregnancy and completly dettached emotionally and physically from him. He was so good o me, but I just could hardly be around him, I never talked to my Dr. and I really regret it b/c I feel we missed out on alot of time we should have enjoyed together before the baby b/c of me.But I chalked it up to hormones, kept myself busy and made it a non issue. So fast foward to now, it has improved some b/c I quit my job; I had alot of resentment towards him b/c I had to work; so it has goten btter except the intimacy, I could honestly care less if I ever had sex again and I am able to orgasm I am just not interested in it. He is still supportive of me and we are both ery involved with our daugher, (the way he is with her is actually what made me fall back in love with him) So my only problem is being intiamte and Ifeel I am theonly 22 yr old in the world who doesn't want SEX! Help!

Chloe

Dear Ellen,

I think a lot of your feelings are normal. Some women suffer from post partum depression and find a big change in themselves after childbirth. I was also one of those people. Some of the reasons you are not interested in sex is that you have other issues you need to resolve with your husband and yourself. I'm sorry if that sounds vague. Being a family takes away from the couple that first started and it is really hard to get back on track. Try and figure out what you need and want and talk to your husband about his needs and wants. IF it is possible, try dating his again and see how that works out. After you reconnect emotionally, the sex part will come back naturally. It is very hard to feel sexual when there are hurtful emotional issues in the way. Good Luck! And if things do not get better, consider seeing a marriage counselor. I think the best marriages are those that have been tended to just like your garden. Even if the flowers are beautiful unless they are taken care of, they will die.

Good Luck.

tater03

We were this way after each of our sons was born. The one thing I highly reccommend is have a date night. Even if it is only once a month and you only go for a cup of coffee. It helps a lot to reconnect and just have time to talk.
I don't know how it is for you exactly but I know that if my husband were to ask me if I wanted to have sex I would tell him no. But if I do decide to and once we are in bed I am like now why did I not want to do this. Sometimes with me it is like I just am to stressed and busy to take the time. But once I do I am glad I did.

KAISER

I am not sure if I should be giving advice at all considering my own problems in my marriage.Among the many things I regret that has happened in my own marriage to my wife,one that is simply killing me right now is that I did not take serious efforts to adress some of these issues earlier.I don't know that the outcome would be any different but I sure wish I would have made the effort.We are looking at getting some counseling but I fear it is too late.I love her dearly and just wish she would give me a second chance to try to see if she could ever love me again.I would have to echo Chloe's advise about getting proffesional help before things go too far