... trying being a woman who gets one then stops and goes to sleep before the man gets there HAAAAAA ok that would probably be REALLY funny for the woman and her GF's HEHE, but also kinda mean...
I have often thought of doing that (you know....just for fun to see the reaction teehee)...but yeah, never end up doing it 'cause it seems kinda mean
Seriously though, I think your age will totally change the connection to my point of view. I think at a certain age all that girly crap about love and sex becomes, I dont know, unrealistic somehow? It kind of goes the way of fairytales and knights on white horses.
I actually resent that comment.
I am 50 going on 51 and I still am "girly" about love and sex with my husband.
And WTH is the matter with still believing in fairytales and knights on white horses? That way of thinking gives hope to some.
While I'm old enough to realize that it is just that - a fairytale - I don't want to lose that sense of wonder and hope that life is just that...helps get me through the hard times.
You have the right to your opinion, as well as everyone else here - just don't push it down our throats - ALL women are not like you, or me, for that matter (and I am blunt and outspoken too, but not to the point of being totally insensitive to others).
I happen to love fairytales and knights on white horses - thank you!
I happen to love fairytales and knights on white horses - thank you!
And you may be shocked to find out that on this, you and I also agree. Wonders never cease, eh?
My view is a bit more tempered now but is there just the same. I posted as much a very long time ago on this forum ... and it's a black horse for me, not a white one.
I honestly think it comes down to a person's "love language". My SO's happens to be physical touch and quality time. THAT is what makes him feel loved. The physical aspect adds to that exponentially. BOTH ways.
I don't like discussing my sex life much, so without much detail...lying in the afterglow, one of the tremendous feelings for me was that I felt totally LOVED. And yes, it was the sex that made it feel that way. I would have felt the same if he had just cuddled me, but the sex took it to another level.
And you may be shocked to find out that on this, you and I also agree. Wonders never cease, eh?
My view is a bit more tempered now but is there just the same. I posted as much a very long time ago on this forum ... and it's a black horse for me, not a white one.
Fairytales are fine when the provide hope, but they become dangerous when they are used to escape....
I have to say, I kind of feel bad for people who need the act so badly in order to attach the intimacy to love. So many things can hapen to prevent the act from being an option (as in the case of my mom).
And by the way... how can one be pushing anything down anyone's throat on a forum? It is not like you can't escape my opinion here... just don't read it HAAAA Or do as you did and express your own along with.... I take no offense to that, I welcome it, but since this is a back and forth format of conversation/debate, expect me to ether respond or challenge, especially since I began this bugger HAHA
Again, in case anyone missed it, this is based on more than myself, and I offer it as a piece of perspective in order to ease the challenge of gender communication....
I do gotta say.. It seems interesting to me that I at least seem to have gotten the male side right, even if myself and my friends are WAY off some norm with chicks LMAO The women are defending their men (with the input of their own perspective on it) but not to many men denying my perception of that end.... Either I am on to something there, they aren't reading, or they prefer not to divulge the secrets of the male mind *giggle*
What is wrong with "the act" anyway? And so what if someone FEELS loved when they have sex with their partner? It's not just for the men. EQUATING sex with love is a different thing..and I dare to think that there are men who DO. There are also men who feel loved by the kissing, caressing, cuddling, and the time spent. Sex is the ultimate expression of that love, imho.
Fairytales are fine when the provide hope, but they become dangerous when they are used to escape....
I have to say, I kind of feel bad for people who need the act so badly in order to attach the intimacy to love. So many things can hapen to prevent the act from being an option (as in the case of my mom).
And by the way... how can one be pushing anything down anyone's throat on a forum? It is not like you can't escape my opinion here... just don't read it HAAAA Or do as you did and express your own along with.... I take no offense to that, I welcome it, but since this is a back and forth format of conversation/debate, expect me to ether respond or challenge, especially since I began this bugger HAHA
Again, in case anyone missed it, this is based on more than myself, and I offer it as a piece of perspective in order to ease the challenge of gender communication....
I do gotta say.. It seems interesting to me that I at least seem to have gotten the male side right, even if myself and my friends are WAY off some norm with chicks LMAO The women are defending their men (with the input of their own perspective on it) but not to many men denying my perception of that end.... Either I am on to something there, they aren't reading, or they prefer not to divulge the secrets of the male mind *giggle*
Nahh ... most of the men avoid the Ladies Lounge like the plague. Cooties ... you know how it is.
ya well, you boys so soon forget the "circle circle dot dot" the cootie shot allows us access to your lounge HAHA
Misfit... again, I am not saying ANYTHING is wrong with the act, OR that anything is wrong with what it is to people. Just saying that when the issues over sex DO arise (they usually do at some point) knowing these things can help improve communication.
Me, I LOVE the act... I mean I LOVE the act HAHA But I don't often attach emotion to it.... of course there are times that I do, but that totally depends on how the act is committed Never do I need it to feel loved though.... I just need to feel seen, appreciated and a little attention to the details to really feel loved... the sex is all realy good gravy for me. In my experience with the "hims" the sex is more the meal and the rest is the gravy..... that means that when we talk sex, even if we are saying the same WORDS we are meaning something totally different... helps to know that
I'm actually very, very fond of the knight in shining armor as well. Old Wood over there and I have always somewhat disagreed on this. I enjoy being spoiled and really don't have any desire how to learn "man things". The traditional dance between men and woman works for me except I do want to be valued and respected and I think that was/is sometimes lacking. It's not that I can't do it on my own, it's that I don't want to.
Quite frankly, your generalizations feel a little too specific
I can't argue nor would I question what you feel, how you operate or what feels right in the relationships that you are in or have been in.
You're claim about women not needing sex to feel love? True. For my girlfriend. She has outright told me as much. False for no fewer than a dozen other women I have been with. On several occasions I have heard articulated from the lips of a woman that there is no more intimate and loving an act than the bond that sex creates. Who knows ... maybe they were faking it ...
For me, one man; I can have an intimate sexual relationship without love. I cannot imagine having an intimate loving relationship without sex. If I am in love, THE most clear and demonstrative way that my partner can convey that message is through sex. It isn't the ONLY one. But it is the most powerful - and if it is absent, all of the other manners of delivering the message of 'I love you' simply don't mean as much.
And that's how it is. For me.
Your talking points remind me of every once in a while a guy will post about the salient points of the 'biological imperative of sex'.
(Views and opinions expressed below are not necessarily those held by Deejo)
Men are driven to pursue sex with as many partners as possible to assure the species carries on. Women are driven to accept a genetically superior, or preferrable sex partner for the goal of producing offspring with a high rate of survivability and success. Their makeup consists of the desire to nurture and protect children to sexual maturity.
It ain't wrong. Not by a longshot. But no way in hell is it the whole story either.
I'm fine with generalizations. Some encapsulate a general concept far more successfully than others.
In this case, I'm not going to argue that this is your truth and experience ... in general.
Lot of the ladies have this kind of issue with the 'Man Up' discussions. It is a strategy of behavior and self-control offered to men as a means of recovering their sense of self-esteem, or balance in a faltering relationship. I don't expect the recommendations to make a lick of sense to someone whose experience has nothing in common with those that are struggling with issues surrounding respect, attraction, or sex.
One size most certainly does not fit all, and that's ok. Keeps things interesting.
Sexual dynamics are always going to be a ripe topic for hoeing around in ... and talking about too.
And you may be shocked to find out that on this, you and I also agree. Wonders never cease, eh?
My view is a bit more tempered now but is there just the same. I posted as much a very long time ago on this forum ... and it's a black horse for me, not a white one.
Horse color doesn't matter. As long as you go all Old Spice on us, we're good.
Re: Just some thoughts on sex from 1 woman 
