Re: Video games almost ruined my marriage.
The console isn't what's to blame here. Yeah it might seem I'm biased because I am a big gamer, but I can honestly tell you that when I've gone through some traumatic moments in my life that gaming saved me. Whether it be a death in the family, me being abandoned when pregnant because I wouldn't cave and have an abortion, finding out the person I was in love with met, married, and was expecting a child with another woman... I could go on and on. Gaming was an escape for me, a means to where I could take my time and process everything in a way that was healthy for me.
You say that you both went through a traumatic period where you had the unfortunate loss of a child. I feel for you, I really do. I have a daughter who is about to turn 8 and I used to have horrible dreams where she would either die or be dead and I would see a coffin. It's a terrible thing and no parent should have to suffer through that.
I want you to know that in no way do I think that the lady situation is acceptable, however don't blame gaming. If that is something your husband wanted, he would've gone out and done it through Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, online dating sites.. wherever. It just so happens that, because he was spending so much time on the PS3, that he met women and then it happened. I will say that there is a certain allure about a woman that games. I get it all the time, and I think nothing of it. There is such a thing as harmless flirting but if hidden cell phones, pictures, and other things are involved then it is hardly harmless.
If you do get a new console, there are parental controls you can set up on them that will prevent him from either going online, from playing games that are of a certain ESRB rating, and more. It's meant for parents who want to put up barriers for their children. If he objects, tell him that you are willing to compromise by allowing the console in the home but that, for now, there will be certain limitations. If he objects, then it isn't so much about having a PS3 as it is about the online interaction and the ladies. If he is determined to contact them, he will find other means.
Or... you could always get a Wii instead. There aren't a lot of online games, interaction with other people is sparse, and it's something the two of you can do together.