Women - what's your sex drive like? - Page 10 - Talk About Marriage
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View Poll Results: Women, what is your normal desire for sex?
Daily or more? 22 18.49%
5-6 times a week? 15 12.61%
3-5 times a week? 47 39.50%
1-2 times a week? 26 21.85%
1 time every two weeks? 2 1.68%
1 time every 3 weeks? 2 1.68%
1 time a month? 2 1.68%
Less than 1 time a month? 1 0.84%
Never want sex? 2 1.68%
Voters: 119. You may not vote on this poll

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post #136 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-30-2014, 11:35 AM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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Wish my wife had the attitude of the ladies on here - I hear about how we should maybe have sex soon, followed by her complaining about how bad her headache is, how tired she is, etc. May explain why we've had sex three times in four years.

Of course, if she read some of you on here, she would comment on how you're all freaks and not normal - how you just don't understand how hard it is with two little kids in the house, etc.
Do keep in mind that many of the women posting, are posting about what they would like for frequency ... but not what they have, or want, with their partner.

The reality is they too, aren't having as much sex as they'd like to be having.

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post #137 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-30-2014, 11:44 AM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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Do keep in mind that many of the women posting, are posting about what they would like for frequency ... but not what they have, or want, with their partner.

The reality is they too, aren't having as much sex as they'd like to be having.
With their partner. That is the part that makes it so very sad/cruel.

I think knowing your wife wants frequent sex, just not with you could be one of the most soul-crushing things a man could learn.
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post #138 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-30-2014, 11:48 AM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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At minimum once a week. That's assuming we are very busy and tired. Otherwise, several times a week. I also need a lot of kink. I've never been any other way, either. I've been HD and kinky since I started having sex. Even when I hated my ex husband, I still wanted to have sex often.

I look at porn, I read erotica, I think about sex, almost daily when I'm not at the level of stress and depression I'm at right now. I even have an x-rated Tumblr blog that, until recently, I visited multiple times a day. Hubby has one too and it was fun to reblog photos knowing the other would see it when they logged on. It was a great way for us (especially being long distance) to say "here's an idea I like." We're both visual people so photos are very helpful in keeping our minds focused on sex.

I realize I'm an exception to what seems to be the norm. I love sex, porn, and I'm kinky as hell. Maybe I should have been a guy lol
There's quite enough of us like that. It's better for balance that you're on the ladies side.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #139 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-30-2014, 11:48 AM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

I'm not really sure at this point. Normally I'd like to think that I'm for it all the time. But stress and birth control are killing things at the moment and it's always been one or the other. Currently I'm pretty stressed, so a few times a month...it's horrible.

But in a normal situation, i'd say everyday. It also matters if I orgasm or not, if I could then I would everyday stress or not. But since it isn't easy unless I have a vibrator and living situation isn't good for that so..yeah. My husband says that he would want to everyday but when we do that he can't keep up so maybe we have to build up to that.
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post #140 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-30-2014, 11:48 AM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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With their partner. That is the part that makes it so very sad/cruel.

I think knowing your wife wants frequent sex, just not with you could be one of the most soul-crushing things a man could learn.
It could also be a starting point to work towards building the relationship into one where she does want that frequency with her partner.

Some women don't communicate at all, others have tried but gotten nowhere. Either way, knowing this is the case is an important step in fixing it (or moving on) IMO.
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post #141 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-30-2014, 11:51 AM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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The reality is they too, aren't having as much sex as they'd like to be having.
Yes, the selection bias here is strong, on both sides, for obvious reasons.
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post #142 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-30-2014, 11:51 AM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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With their partner. That is the part that makes it so very sad/cruel.

I think knowing your wife wants frequent sex, just not with you could be one of the most soul-crushing things a man could learn.
Could be. Could also be the case that their men brought it on themselves by being douche-nozzles.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #143 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-30-2014, 11:55 AM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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Could be. Could also be the case that their men brought it on themselves by being douche-nozzles.
true
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post #144 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-30-2014, 02:04 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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The reality is they too, aren't having as much sex as they'd like to be having.
Sadly, true. I'd love to have sex almost every day, but my husband has a lower sex drive than I do and it gets much worse when he's stressed out. He is currently really stressed from work and our sex life has dropped dramatically.
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post #145 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-30-2014, 02:07 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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Originally Posted by Middle of Everything View Post
With their partner. That is the part that makes it so very sad/cruel.

I think knowing your wife wants frequent sex, just not with you could be one of the most soul-crushing things a man could learn.
For a man who dearly loves his wife and tries to do right by her? Yes. It hurts.

But ... it is necessary.

Because one way or another you need to grow beyond that state. Either with your wife ... or with another woman who wants to have sex with YOU 3 to 5 times a week.

Let's not derail Elle's thread, but hopefully learn a few things.

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post #146 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-02-2015, 11:51 AM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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With their partner. That is the part that makes it so very sad/cruel.

I think knowing your wife wants frequent sex, just not with you could be one of the most soul-crushing things a man could learn.
That's actually not the case in my house, thankfully (or maybe not thankfully). My wife literally has no sex drive. She will make a very occasional mention that we should have sex, then when I tell her, OK, let's go, then I'm met with "Not tonight, because I need to have a couple of drinks first" or "I'm really tired now", etc. If I insisted, she would oblige, but it would be duty sex, and I refuse to be a part of that.

Like a lot of couples, our sex early on was fairly frequent (we got physical right away, which IMO was a mistake). Now I'm seeing how long we can go totally sexless - sad part is that I don't think she really minds it at all (she'll make noise that we need to have sex, but IMO it's just her way of making it seem that she's receptive when she's really not). If she doesn't want sex, that's fine with me - I'm not going to force her to do something that she equates with work.
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post #147 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-02-2015, 12:41 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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She will make a very occasional mention that we should have sex, then when I tell her, OK, let's go, then I'm met with "Not tonight, because I need to have a couple of drinks first" or "I'm really tired now", etc.
"OK, let's go" wouldn't turn that many women on. Maybe she's mentioning it hoping you would seduce her? Help out so she's not too tired, have some wine together, go on a date night, etc
Do you make plans with her when she says not tonight?
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post #148 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-02-2015, 01:34 PM
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No, that's not it - get your point but she really has no drive. She thinks this is normal seeing we have little kids - also her parents relationship was like this growing up, and friends of hers the same, so it's normal in her mind. Anything more than once a month is a lot in her mind.
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post #149 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-03-2015, 02:37 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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That's actually not the case in my house, thankfully (or maybe not thankfully). My wife literally has no sex drive. She will make a very occasional mention that we should have sex, then when I tell her, OK, let's go, then I'm met with "Not tonight, because I need to have a couple of drinks first" or "I'm really tired now", etc. If I insisted, she would oblige, but it would be duty sex, and I refuse to be a part of that.

Like a lot of couples, our sex early on was fairly frequent (we got physical right away, which IMO was a mistake). Now I'm seeing how long we can go totally sexless - sad part is that I don't think she really minds it at all (she'll make noise that we need to have sex, but IMO it's just her way of making it seem that she's receptive when she's really not). If she doesn't want sex, that's fine with me - I'm not going to force her to do something that she equates with work.
Has she had her hormone levels checked lately? I can totally relate to what she is feeling, having lived through a total decline in hormones and absolutely no desire/thoughts about having sex. You are probably right, she doesn't mind it, because she has no desire for it or to even think about it, unless she knows it's bothering you. Doesn't mean though she doesn't still care and love you.

I got things adjusted and am enjoying a very healthy active sex life again. Many on here want to think it's all mental, well it's not, hormones play a HUGE part in all of this.
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post #150 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-03-2015, 03:05 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

mine is daily. middles 40's is my age. but...i havent had it much in ten yrs and have no current partner. ....my drive decreased during what i thought was healthy marriage time due to female probs for which i sought help from ob/gyn. when i finally got approved for hystetectomy...i had surgery. after recovery..my drive went high but...he then was hooked on porno and that led to affair and rest is history. hoping someday ill find someone. the depression from sexless life is getting to me and not just that but lack of healthy relationship.
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