Women - what's your sex drive like? - Page 14 - Talk About Marriage
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View Poll Results: Women, what is your normal desire for sex?
Daily or more? 22 18.49%
5-6 times a week? 15 12.61%
3-5 times a week? 47 39.50%
1-2 times a week? 26 21.85%
1 time every two weeks? 2 1.68%
1 time every 3 weeks? 2 1.68%
1 time a month? 2 1.68%
Less than 1 time a month? 1 0.84%
Never want sex? 2 1.68%
Voters: 119. You may not vote on this poll

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post #196 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-12-2017, 02:12 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

After about the first six pages or so, I stopped reading, but I must say I'm a little surprised at the results I'm seeing. If you ladies are not getting enough maybe y'all should start feeding your man a "mixed" drink of sorts with some Viagra, Cialis, or something. Call it a blue (or orange) roofy...

I kid..., I kid...

I don't know for sure about my wife what her actual drive is, but I would suspect it to be in the 3 to 5 times a week category. The reason I don't know for sure is because she can't (or won't) say no, and once it starts...

I used to be able to go multiple times a day. Now that I am 55 years old..., once a day is usually enough. Heck, I even need a day off about once a week..., though sometimes that doesn't happen because she wants... After 20 years you'd think we would be more in sync..., but I guess that's the price you pay for being committed..., or...., maybe I should be "committed"...

What was the question again?


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post #197 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-12-2017, 04:29 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

I haven't read all the posts but seeing this thread has set me thinking ...

Needing to have sex can be totally different to how often you think you should have it. For example maybe a woman might reply twice a week in the poll because she feels that is a good compromise bearing in mind the higher and lower drives that exist in her relationship.

Am I the only woman to wonder if I even know what my true sex drive is - because my H has a higher drive and I seldom get to the point of feeling 100% ravenous for sex (like I just gotta have it), as opposed to just feeling somewhat randy or 90% wanting it so to speak. So if your spouse has the higher drive and you constantly meet, or try to meet, that higher drive, how can you work out what your true drive is?

Like if you've always got food in the kitchen can you truly say you know what real hunger is?
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post #198 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-13-2017, 03:45 AM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

Well here we go again, men telling women what our sex drives are. Seems some do not accept anything past their own narrow experience of women.

OK to be fair and in the spirit of equality. I have had two husbands, one LD and one HD therefore it is a proven point that 50% of men are HD and 50% of men are LD, The End!
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post #199 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-13-2017, 09:00 AM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

Where did that come from, MrsHolland? I guess I must've missed something. Your sex drive is what it is, and the only one who can say what it is is yourself. It's been my experience that the majority of women have medium to high sex drives, and this thread reinforced that. I appreciate the idea that the women on here at least can give honest answers, and they really shouldn't be made to feel like they are being grilled because it doesn't fit into "some" men's experiences. If they are not at least medium, my thoughts are that they have an underlying reason as to why that is, and even then it doesn't mean they are "abnormal".

I, for one, appreciate the candor. It's good to know that women enjoy sex just as much, if not more, as us men, and I do think the poll will reflect pretty close to the real world sex drive averages.
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post #200 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-14-2017, 07:07 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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I would also like a nice pounding twice a week or so, and circus sex once a week. But during the work week, I want sex, I just want it to be relatively quick.

On vacation - three times a day, every day.
What's this "circus sex" that has been mentioned a few times? Do I need to dress up as a clown for this or will a magic wand do? (Seriously: some examples would be helpful as I have no idea what that term implies).

Me and my wife have very mis-matched sex drives unfortunately: I need it every day or so and she is more of a 7-times-a-week girl, though we are trying to compromise and meet somewhere in the middle :-)

In reality, I do notice that my "demand" is more regular (every one or two days would be perfect) while hers is much more concentrated around "ovulation" time. Do the women with HD, still experience HD during period as well or is it also "clustering" during certain weeks? The former seems (biologically) improbable.

Edit: The times which really stuck in my memory were 2nd trimesters of her pregnancies (if I am not mistaken, or could have been 3rd): she would go completely insane, not just for sex but crazy sex (I don't know if this is circus territory). She would "attack" me in the middle of the night and do the craziest things in the most animalistic ways. I miss those times. (Again, how does it make sense, biologically?)
It seems she is very susceptible to hormones (she also turns to monster during PMS). Nowadays, I am trying and keep her cycle calendar on my iphone, as it helps me to roughly know how to behave with her (by predicting when it's ok to sexually "assault" her, without getting too much china thrown my way along the way). Hormones can be tricky.

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post #201 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-17-2017, 05:31 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
What's this "circus sex" that has been mentioned a few times? Do I need to dress up as a clown for this or will a magic wand do? (Seriously: some examples would be helpful as I have no idea what that term implies).

Me and my wife have very mis-matched sex drives unfortunately: I need it every day or so and she is more of a 7-times-a-week girl, though we are trying to compromise and meet somewhere in the middle :-)

In reality, I do notice that my "demand" is more regular (every one or two days would be perfect) while hers is much more concentrated around "ovulation" time. Do the women with HD, still experience HD during period as well or is it also "clustering" during certain weeks? The former seems (biologically) improbable.

Edit: The times which really stuck in my memory were 2nd trimesters of her pregnancies (if I am not mistaken, or could have been 3rd): she would go completely insane, not just for sex but crazy sex (I don't know if this is circus territory). She would "attack" me in the middle of the night and do the craziest things in the most animalistic ways. I miss those times. (Again, how does it make sense, biologically?)
It seems she is very susceptible to hormones (she also turns to monster during PMS). Nowadays, I am trying and keep her cycle calendar on my iphone, as it helps me to roughly know how to behave with her (by predicting when it's ok to sexually "assault" her, without getting too much china thrown my way along the way). Hormones can be tricky.
I can't speak for anyone but myself. I'm on hormonal birth control, so I don't have an ovulation phase. My partner and I mostly see each other on the weekends (we don't live together), and I'm always raring to go when I see him. I think it's a combo of 1) his pheromones turn me on, and 2) the anticipation of knowing that we're going to get it on ramps me up. During the week, my drive drops a little bit, I think partially because my brain knows it's not sexy time. But if he were to booty call me during the week, I'm always up for it, and he always has been as well, but that doesn't happen very often, or it hasn't recently, because we've spent a LOT of time together in the last two months--9 or 10 days straight over Thanksgiving (time off work for me), 9 or 10 days straight over Christmas/New Year's (again, time off work), and a 3-day weekend for MLK day and another 3-day weekend for the inauguration. This will be my last 3-day weekend until May, so I expect the pattern will change soon.

When I was NOT on BC, I was most horny during ovulation, and again at the end of my period. But I was still HD consistently during the month, just more so at those particular times.

Now, I use my BC to skip my periods, so I only have one every 3-4 months. I try to time it for when my partner is out of town, or has a houseguest. And I still get super horny towards the end of my period. I'm not sure if it's because of my hormones, or because we haven't had sex in a week or so at that point. Once I reach 7 days without having sex, I'm freaking climbing the walls, BC or not. My partner and I have gotten into a silly fight or two about it, because going without that long makes me cranky. He's learned that I need to be serviced at least once a week to keep me happy, even if he's not feeling particularly in the mood at that moment in time. Sometimes that means that he just plays with me and gets me off, and he definitely makes up for the fact that we're not having PIV sex.

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
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post #202 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-18-2017, 04:03 AM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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He's learned that I need to be serviced at least once a week to keep me happy, even if he's not feeling particularly in the mood at that moment in time. Sometimes that means that he just plays with me and gets me off, and he definitely makes up for the fact that we're not having PIV sex.
How did you teach him, may I ask? It seems to me that either men are better at learning or women are better at teaching this aspect.
A lot of men seem to struggle to the point of wrecking their lives when it comes to laying bare their sexual needs.
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post #203 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-18-2017, 12:14 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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How did you teach him, may I ask? It seems to me that either men are better at learning or women are better at teaching this aspect.
A lot of men seem to struggle to the point of wrecking their lives when it comes to laying bare their sexual needs.
I didn't teach him, not intentionally, anyway. He just pays VERY CLOSE ATTENTION. He noticed that the longer we go without, the more sensitive I get. I got upset over something last Sunday, and he responded, "what I'm hearing is that you're feeling neglected and need me to pay attention to you." And he was right on target. Sometimes I'm good at articulating it, sometimes I'm not. And when I'm not, he's good at picking up on it.

Honestly, I'm amazed at how closely he listens to me when it comes to me communicating my needs and how responsive he is when I am unhappy about something.

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
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post #204 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-18-2017, 05:59 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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I didn't teach him, not intentionally, anyway. He just pays VERY CLOSE ATTENTION. He noticed that the longer we go without, the more sensitive I get. I got upset over something last Sunday, and he responded, "what I'm hearing is that you're feeling neglected and need me to pay attention to you." And he was right on target. Sometimes I'm good at articulating it, sometimes I'm not. And when I'm not, he's good at picking up on it.

Honestly, I'm amazed at how closely he listens to me when it comes to me communicating my needs and how responsive he is when I am unhappy about something.
I wish I could solve every argument we have, with an orgasm for my wife
Sometimes she gets horny, from arguing and sometimes I can tell. When I can't tell, it can be somewhat humiliating. I used to just start undressing, every time she raised her voice. But with kids around, it's not so straightforward anymore.
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post #205 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-18-2017, 06:13 PM
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I wrote down 3 to 5 times a week, but I'm not going to get it that much so I am content...I am a sexual woman...I proved that by darn near getting myself in trouble years ago with my boss before we were married...This to me taught me the true workings of a woman who is in heat and want for fulfillment...I have never forgotten this lesson in life...From this lesson I have grown...Learned to accept the wanting woman who lives within me and go with it...I believe being sexual and liking yourself has a lot to do with what you do and who you are...I married a boy/man who I could still eat alive...And I have been known to do this on more than a few occasions...

Feeling the way I do about myself has kept me as well as him young...Our bodies have aged, but that's it...Oh, he struggles with getting hard at times, but I help him out...We in our older age (he will be 79 and me 78) have learned that you can lay in each others arms and **** each other with your eyes...This part of us has never changed and has led to some hot sex...In the last 20 months I just about lost him twice...This lesson in life has taught me more than books could ever explain...I believe this is important in a marriage......

A woman MUST have strong sexual feelings for her lover/husband to want to mate...It cannot be something that she plays let's pretend to and make it fun...Her mind must awaken her body...Unless she can do this and feels this inside she cannot attain the goal in life that sex was made to be and do...This is all a part of the wanting and love between two people that we have had for all these years...

I am a horny old woman...I look good and I am good...This alone is paramount with the feelings of a woman to make love...She must be able to lose herself in what she is doing and let herself go...Needless to say my husband sees and feels this want in me and it is pretty much katy bar the door...We are two fools in love...

I probably will take this post off as I have gone too much into our story of love...I guess this is kind of a prelude to my wanting to speak of older age and a marriage that was made in heaven yet has known hell...Now for some football....
That's wonderful.

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post #206 of 206 (permalink) Old 01-18-2017, 07:07 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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I wish I could solve every argument we have, with an orgasm for my wife
Sometimes she gets horny, from arguing and sometimes I can tell. When I can't tell, it can be somewhat humiliating. I used to just start undressing, every time she raised her voice. But with kids around, it's not so straightforward anymore.
Well, in this particular instance/argument, I really WAS upset because he was neglecting me, when I had set aside my weekend to be with him. I was upset because if he was going to waste my time by not being fully present, why was I even there, when I could be doing something productive with my time? It was a question of reminding him to prioritize appropriately. What he was wasting time on could have very easily be done at another time when I wasn't around.

ETA: And this doesn't happen often, but it has happened once or twice. And he's said he would rather that I call him on it right away, and b!tch at him if I need to, rather than keeping it to myself and letting it fester.

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~

Last edited by FeministInPink; 01-18-2017 at 07:19 PM.
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