Women - what's your sex drive like? - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
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View Poll Results: Women, what is your normal desire for sex?
Daily or more? 22 18.49%
5-6 times a week? 15 12.61%
3-5 times a week? 47 39.50%
1-2 times a week? 26 21.85%
1 time every two weeks? 2 1.68%
1 time every 3 weeks? 2 1.68%
1 time a month? 2 1.68%
Less than 1 time a month? 1 0.84%
Never want sex? 2 1.68%
Voters: 119. You may not vote on this poll

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post #76 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-07-2014, 10:48 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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Here's a discussion of the attempt to answer the question of the comparative sex drives of men vs. women. It is not a study itself, but a discussion about the many studies that have been used to attempt to answer some of these questions, with links to peer reviewed journal articles and meta-analysis of dozens of studies.

Take from it what you will. I don't care what the answer is as long as it's supportable by data.

Do men really have higher sex drives than women?
Cletus...that was a great article, but several of the links were broken, including the main one at the very end.

The thing is that there are other meta-studies that don't come out the same as the one in that article. As I said, if you want to know more of why I personally don't believe the data presented in your article means men are more sexual than women, you could read the book What Do Women Want? The conclusion is much different. Basically, boiled down to it, the conclusion of the book is that female sexual desire is something that men simply can't mentally grasp how it works because it most definitely works differently than most men's sexual desire.

Just because a woman's desire works differently, and just because women may MB less and desire fewer partners over a lifetime, does not mean that they are "less sexual" than men are. Your article even says the same thing. There's no one "test" for how sexual people are. I'm actually working on one for blog material now.

In nature, males and females do not want sex more or less than each other, they BOTH want it, it is equal...yet the physiology and many other aspects of sexual arousal and desire are very different for each gender in many species. Just like US.

Our arousal and desire patterns are different. This does not mean we are less sexual. We are equally as sexual.

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post #77 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-08-2014, 12:36 AM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
Exactly...

I think that some of the posts are from men who are wondering why these results are so different from their experiences with their wives and gfs.

Well except for one poster.... :

I've been lucky enough to experience both in my life - women with a higher sex drive than me, and women with a lower sex drive.

Regardless, there is an answer to the question of which gender on average has a higher sex drive, since equality is biological highly unlikely, and searching for the actual answer is not a bad thing unless you intend to use what you discover for ill.

It's certainly better than presupposing that answer.
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post #78 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-08-2014, 01:42 AM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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To me, this thread was just a fun way to ask TAM's female participants what their desire for sex was.

I don't see why some folks need to "negate" the results and comments.
Fun, yes for some. And others of us just might want to point to the results of this poll to nudge our wives in the direction of expressing more sexuality, being less inhibited.

But judging by all the posts I read about people being "on the fence," whether to continue or end their marriages, I imagine it's deadly serious for many. "I might as well end my marriage, because there's a good chance I can find better sex (among other things) with someone else," is a lot different than, "I'm going to keep working on my marriage, because I'll likely face the same or similar problems with anyone."
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post #79 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-08-2014, 04:03 AM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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Exactly...

I think that some of the posts are from men who are wondering why these results are so different from their experiences with their wives and gfs.

Well except for one poster.... :
Yep, I think it is wonderful that 94% or responders actually have a sex drive. Left to her own devices my wife does not
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post #80 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-08-2014, 02:26 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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Originally Posted by intheory View Post
To me, this thread was just a fun way to ask TAM's female participants what their desire for sex was.

I don't see why some folks need to "negate" the results and comments.
Why am I not surprised this is how it ended.

As for my answer: I like it almost daily, but occasionally I'm(we're) too tired with a horribly teething toddler. Luckily my marriage has gotten a lot better, so reality is pretty close to my sex drive.
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post #81 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-08-2014, 03:04 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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Why am I not surprised this is how it ended.

As for my answer: I like it almost daily, but occasionally I'm(we're) too tired with a horribly teething toddler. Luckily my marriage has gotten a lot better, so reality is pretty close to my sex drive.
So for the women who like it daily or close to daily, how long does the daily session usually last? I remember samyeager saying he and his wife have sex daily and it usually lasts for an hour each day. While I think sex is a good thing to do as often as you can, that seems like a big time commitment. As I've said, I might be a daily girl if I could keep the sessions during the work week short (like 3 to 15 minutes).

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post #82 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-08-2014, 03:08 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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Yep, I think it is wonderful that 94% or responders actually have a sex drive. Left to her own devices my wife does not
There are quite a few women who post here about their husbands not wanting sex or having low sex drives.

From things I've read, men chose to make marriages sexless as often as women do.

When a spouse appears to be low drive, the first thing that has to be determined is if the problem is physical.. like hormone issues or if it's between their ears. Usually it's between the ears driven by anger and resentment.

Then they need to be willing to fix whatever the issue is. If they are not willing to fix it, then that means that they don't really give a darn about their spouse and the marriage.
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post #83 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-08-2014, 03:09 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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So for the women who like it daily or close to daily, how long does the daily session usually last? I remember samyeager saying he and his wife have sex daily and it usually lasts for an hour each day. While I think sex is a good thing to do as often as you can, that seems like a big time commitment. As I've said, I might be a daily girl if I could keep the sessions during the work week short (like 3 to 15 minutes).
It varies, some days short, some days long.
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post #84 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-08-2014, 03:11 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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Originally Posted by firebelly1 View Post
So for the women who like it daily or close to daily, how long does the daily session usually last? I remember samyeager saying he and his wife have sex daily and it usually lasts for an hour each day. While I think sex is a good thing to do as often as you can, that seems like a big time commitment. As I've said, I might be a daily girl if I could keep the sessions during the work week short (like 3 to 15 minutes).
We are a daily plus couple. During the week the morning round is very quick and even though I don't usually have an O, I like to send him off to work with a smile, makes me happy.

Evening rounds are usually longish, I don't have any idea of the time but it is an all in event. Sometimes Mr H will want to go again during the night and they are not long, not short sessions, hard to tell really.

On the weekends if no kids around we can have super long sessions that start with a full body massage for me.

The quality of our sex is usually on the upper end of the scale but even if it is a quicky it is still great

Like anything in life if there is a will, there is a way. We simply make the time. There is time for everything else in life, sex should not be any exception because IMHO there is not much else that is as important both from a physical and emotional POV.
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post #85 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-08-2014, 03:33 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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Originally Posted by firebelly1 View Post
So for the women who like it daily or close to daily, how long does the daily session usually last? I remember samyeager saying he and his wife have sex daily and it usually lasts for an hour each day. While I think sex is a good thing to do as often as you can, that seems like a big time commitment. As I've said, I might be a daily girl if I could keep the sessions during the work week short (like 3 to 15 minutes).
Same as Ele. Some short, some long. A lot of it will depend on our schedules and our son(how well he's sleeping and when his naps are). I work part-time opposite schedule of my husband, so those days can be tough to fit in sex, but we still try to even as a quicky right before bed.

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post #86 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-08-2014, 03:41 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

For you women with daily or near-daily sex: are you primarily active desire or reactive desire types? Do you find yourself wanting it that frequently, or do you get in the mood after starting? How does that affect the amount of time you devote to sex?
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post #87 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-08-2014, 03:55 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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For you women with daily or near-daily sex: are you primarily active desire or reactive desire types? Do you find yourself wanting it that frequently, or do you get in the mood after starting? How does that affect the amount of time you devote to sex?
Fantastic questions Cletus!
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post #88 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-08-2014, 03:58 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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We are a daily plus couple. During the week the morning round is very quick and even though I don't usually have an O, I like to send him off to work with a smile, makes me happy.

Evening rounds are usually longish, I don't have any idea of the time but it is an all in event. Sometimes Mr H will want to go again during the night and they are not long, not short sessions, hard to tell really.

So...is this the "routine" now? You both just expect that you will be having sex every night? And how and what time does it start? Do you both go to bed at the same time?

On the weekends if no kids around we can have super long sessions that start with a full body massage for me.

And how does this start and when? Do one of you "plan" it as a weekend activity? Do you discuss ahead of time when you will fit this in to your other weekend activities?


The quality of our sex is usually on the upper end of the scale but even if it is a quicky it is still great

So you orgasm most of the time? How long does it take you to cum generally?

Like anything in life if there is a will, there is a way. We simply make the time. There is time for everything else in life, sex should not be any exception because IMHO there is not much else that is as important both from a physical and emotional POV.

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post #89 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-08-2014, 03:59 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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Originally Posted by Cletus View Post
For you women with daily or near-daily sex: are you primarily active desire or reactive desire types? Do you find yourself wanting it that frequently, or do you get in the mood after starting? How does that affect the amount of time you devote to sex?
Not sure if I am a daily girl but I'd say my desire is more active than reactive.

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post #90 of 206 (permalink) Old 12-08-2014, 04:01 PM
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Re: Women - what's your sex drive like?

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When a spouse appears to be low drive, the first thing that has to be determined is if the problem is physical.. like hormone issues or if it's between their ears. Usually it's between the ears driven by anger and resentment.

Then they need to be willing to fix whatever the issue is. If they are not willing to fix it, then that means that they don't really give a darn about their spouse and the marriage.
I hear that, I do and I'm trying to work on some things.

Yet, if I suddenly lost my drive for the rat race and got a job at Lowes or wherever at a sixth or less of my current salary I think she'd be pretty pissed off, hell she does better than avg. Sell the house and live on her salary at a job she despises for a while
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