am i selfish?
Looking for advice...
My boyfriend of 6 years and I started dating when I was a junior in college. We had known each other since I was a freshman in college. He was a year older and graduated in December and moved back home (2 1/2 hours away), so most of our actual dating has been long-distance.
We have very good communication and have made a huge commitment to making our long-distance relationship work for so long. After graduating, he took a year off from school and then went to 3 years of law (about 4 hours away from me). Again, weekend road trips and nightly video chats on skype helped our relationship be successful.
Well, he graduated from law school last May and we hoped to be together after he got his Bar exam results in October and secured a job. Well, he just missed passing the bar exam by a few points and thus his hopes of landing a job (especially in the city where I am) decreased drastically.
He re-took the exam in February and should get his results in a few weeks. He still has no job offers because no one wants to hire him without knowing his results (especially in this economy).
I wanted him to come to the city where I am in while he waits for his results, but he said that he would not have me support him financially. I can understand that. He will not propose or make any steps towards us being together until he feels his career is enough to support me and a family. I find myself getting more and more frustrated. Not at him, but at the whole situation. I have a really good job in the city I am in, my whole family is here, but am willing to move if he gets a job elsewhere.
Am I being selfish? I know he is trying to find a job but I just feel like if he really wanted to be with me, we would be, despite all this stuff with his career. What happens if he gets his results and still did not pass. Are we going to wait another year? I just want to settle down. I never thought it would be 6 years and we are still doing this long-distance thing. I really do not see an end in sight. Everything is up in the air and he keeps saying that if we want it enough we just have to be patient. I understand where he is coming from - that he wants to be responsible and financially ready before he gets married, but I am at my breaking-point with this indefinite long-distance relationship.
Any advice? Am I just being impatient and selfish of his career needs?