I hear you Niceguy13, but if you feel that way be willing to go WITH us. I know a lot of married women whose spouses flat out refuse to go out with them on the rare night we'd like to hit a bar or whatever, but don't want them to go either. This is selfish. There's only a 'risk' if there's a reason for there to be a risk, and for me there just isn't. Now if it's a feeling going out is disrespectful thing, that's something both parties have to work out, but I'd never be with a man who wouldn't let me have a little freedom to go out sometimes. And my husband is SO not concerned with me being put at risk for my physical safety! LOL!! I'm a black belt in Aikido and I'm not a fool (like letting some dude I don't know bring me an open drink that might be drugged, walking out to my car alone in unlit areas, etc).
A guy that does not come with his wife if she wants to go out is a fool. He should enjoy going out to his wife. He still may not like the place that is in mind. If this is the case, he should not be ok with his wife going without him. So why would he not go and have a good time. At the very least he is c0ckblocking. Which frankly is his role.
Sorry guys, you are not hard wired to trust. You are hardwired to use the jealous reflex and c0ckblock. It is Darwinian. Like it or not. PC or not. It is natural.
Ahhh now someone's hit the nail on the head (no pun intended hehe)..I can tell you from experience so similar to how this husband feels about his wife going out with the girls, but that all goes away when getting bum rushed...
I agree, to a point. If she is being stimulated by other guys and then f*cks the heck out of you that is nice. BUT this is just a little bit of being cuckholded. The guy is more sexually aroused becasue he is hardwired by the sperm competition mechanism. Meaning if a man feels his wife may have been having sex with another male, he is turned on by that fact and will want to have intercourse with her so that his sperm can compete. The actuall shape of a mans penis is designed to pull another mans sperm out while releasing his. Sorry for painting that picture.
Is what I am saying ridiculous? Much of the time, sure. No doubt. It really depends on how wild the GNOs are and how into this playing with the boys is for the wife. But from a body agenda perspective we are wired this way.
All in all this is the least she should do. The later she comes in from being out the though the bigger the concern. If there is any secrecy about what she is doing, this is a huge red flag. If she is going out with a wingwoman that always goes with her, then more concern.
Honestly, his insecurity is not your problem. I say, ignore it. If you let it fester, it will bother you and can become a "self-fulfilling prophecy." If YOU know it is just fun and innocent, then act accordingly. The more you try to solve his problem, the worse it will get. So, remember that he is in charge of his feelings and how he reacts, not you. Go off with a clear conscience. Don't let him "punish you;" be cheerful and chatty the next day regardless of how he responds--and be sure to let him know you had fun and you appreciate having a spouse who supports you having some fun on your own (because, despite his sullleness, he did support you by not trying to intervene). Keep up that routine and he may realize that Mr. Longface isn't going to work--and he may voice his fears, in which case you can just sympathize or empathize, but don't try to reassure him about how trustworthy you are.
LOL. There is a loving faithful wife attitude. It is of course of major concern in a marriage how your SO feels about what you do.
Of course the man can solve this problem readily. By letting his spouse know this is unacceptable and act on it.
This is very tough however since he is already in love with his wife. If there are children he has every right to be more assertive here. She knows she will keep the kids and then can use that against him if it gets contentious.
Mr Longface ... more respect for this guy. FEMDOM here.
Spending time with friends is fine, going to bars/clubs with friends to drink and get hit on just to make you feel better is not fine, unless your husband is into that then go for it IMO.
You might want to think about why your husband is so upset. You love him, yes but do you think going to a club to get attention from other guys (even if you know nothing will happen physically or emotionally) is fair to your husband?
Maybe he doesn't have many friends because you're the only one he needs and wants. He only wants to spend his time with you because he loves you more than anything else. He doesn't need to get attention from other girls to make himself feel good, you make him feel good about himself already. He wakes up and sees you in the morning and it's already a good day.
Unless he looks like Freddy Krueger then IMO go out and have all the fun you want at the clubs
Even if you will never cheat, needing attention from other guys to make yourself feel good will never make a husband feel good about his relationship with his wife. My wife needs to get attention from other guys to make our marriage full-filling really makes a husband feel like a man IMO. You might not think of it that way, but I'm positive your husband is.
Hunny, don't worry, nothing will ever happen it's just an innocent girls night out. Guys dance with me and it makes me feel good but i tell them I'm married and they already know it so you won't ever have to worry about me cheating on you. I just need to dance with strange men to make me feel good for our marriage, can't you see that? I need these girls night out to make our marriage stronger because you can't give me the attention I so deserve.
Like someone posted, spending time with the girls is, lunch/dinner, shopping and whatever you like without the alcohol and dancing with strange men.
Guys, golfing, sports, lunch, etc...Strip joints, clubs and bars are not really guy bonding stuff. It's let's go look at chicks with huge busts and nice curvy behinds so we can go home and tolerate sleeping with the wife while we fantasize about all those young, hot girls.
My guys night out when I started the affair, clubs, bars, hostess bars, strip clubs. My guys out after the affair and I realized my wife was the only one I needed, hunting and sports (well before the kids, now it's home and TV/computer lol).
I needed those clubs to make me feel that other girls still wanted me (after being married), it felt good getting phone numbers from girls at the clubs, very good. Too bad I didn't realize I should have felt good enough just with my wife. And luckily she didn't boot my behind to the curb.
The DEFINITION of a committed spouse is one who actually cares if he/she hurts the feelings of their spouse.
Now, your spouse may need counseling to shrink their zone of sensitivity, but that's something you work on together.
You simply don't say, "I know this hurts you, LIVE WITH IT."
Or, as some have found, perhaps he won't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Entropy3000
LOL. There is a loving faithful wife attitude. It is of course of major concern in a marriage how your SO feels about what you do.
Of course the man can solve this problem readily. By letting his spouse know this is unacceptable and act on it.
This is very tough however since he is already in love with his wife. If there are children he has every right to be more assertive here. She knows she will keep the kids and then can use that against him if it gets contentious.
Mr Longface ... more respect for this guy. FEMDOM here.
The DEFINITION of a committed spouse is one who actually cares if he/she hurts the feelings of their spouse.
Now, your spouse may need counseling to shrink their zone of sensitivity, but that's something you work on together.
You simply don't say, "I know this hurts you, LIVE WITH IT."
Or, as some have found, perhaps he won't.
I totally agree. I love my wife and I am not going to hurt her at the expense of my selfish oneness. It has to be reciprocal and for my wife and I it has been pretty equitable.
If anything it is an opportunity for the spouses to talk things out and discover what the root cause issues are for the concern.
Some spouses play a cruel game it seems. Much more selfishness, hate and resentment than any kind of love.
A gal pal and I want to go out some time for a "girls night out". But I know my husband. He will say he's fine with it, but I know better. We have been married 25 years and I can read him like a book! He has an attitude shift,(its written all over his face) gets sullen, doesn't even say "have a good time" (of course he says nothing is wrong) My husband and I have gone out together plenty of times. I don't get to go out with friends very often. I just get tired of him acting like a horses rear end when it comes to this. I think the problem is that he doesn't have any guy pals himself. He doesn't think its all that important.(don't believe that one for a second). Any ideas on how to deal with this?
If you know he doesn’t like it then why would you do it anyways? You should sit down with him and explain why you would like a girl’s night and if still says he’s uncomfortable about it then don’t do it, but if he understands then do it.
If you know he doesn’t like it then why would you do it anyways? You should sit down with him and explain why you would like a girl’s night and if still says he’s uncomfortable about it then don’t do it, but if he understands then do it.
Couples should discuss and setup agreed upon boundaries that are equitable.
Some go for a boundary of look but don't touch as a starter. So that eliminates dancing and lap dances right off the top.
Not the end all be all for all couples but a common place to start.
As someone has put it, it comes down to the husband being married but not the wife.
Re: girls night out 
And my husband is SO not concerned with me being put at risk for my physical safety! LOL!! I'm a black belt in Aikido and I'm not a fool (like letting some dude I don't know bring me an open drink that might be drugged, walking out to my car alone in unlit areas, etc).
Re: girls night out 
