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Old 04-13-2011, 07:50 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default New Surname

I am having a lot of trouble getting used to my new surname. Though we have been together for four years, we have been married for less than a year. I decided to change my last name because I wanted to make a break from my past and become a family. Divorced women give me a hard time about taking Mr.G's name, but their bitterness is not my problem.
When I see my new name on my ID and bills, it's as if I'm reading about some other woman. When I write my signature, I have to concentrate hard not to put down the M of my maiden name. Being called Mrs.G**** makes me feel old; not sure what THAT is about.
For those who chose to take their husband's name, how did you get used to it? Did it seem strange?
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Old 04-13-2011, 07:56 AM   #2 (permalink)
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In my last marriage I never took my husbands name. Something about it didn't feel right and i didn't want to give that part of myself up.

I am however looking forward to being Mrs 2ndtime, because I know I am going to love being his wife and being married to him. I will like people knowing that. <3

So I'll let you know.
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Old 04-13-2011, 08:37 AM   #3 (permalink)
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It took five years of marriage for me to feel like my married name was me. I went from an extremely uncommon name to the most common surname in the US. I wasn't too happy when I went to change it. My new name is so boring.
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Old 04-13-2011, 08:57 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I think changing my name has been the weirdest part of being married. It's kind of funny, actually. While I've gotten used to MY name being different, it still kind of catches me off guard when my father and sister's names are different than mine--isn't that weird of me? Or maybe just self-centered, lol. But it was always the three of us for so long, that it just seems odd to be the "odd man out" when our names are involved. But I also remember having an argument with some of my older cousins when I was little about how they couldn't possibly have MY last name because, well...it was MINE! So it might just be something I'm funny about.

What I did do though was make my maiden name my middle name and I find that I use my middle initial almost all the time now. Much more than I ever did before. And it wasn't too long ago that I caught myself trying to sign a credit card receipt with my old name too.

I think it can be hard to break old habits with things you don't really think twice about--I mean really--I give more thought to the tip than the signature at dinner, right? But your name is tied to who you are and by changing that, no matter how happy you are about it, it's changing YOU and that takes some time to process.

Like you, my husband and I are childfree and remaining so, and I think that makes it a little harder too, since for me at least, changing my name was to me the only thing that would really ever make us a "family". That seemed to make it a bigger step still. Plus we do it, it's a pain in the butt and they don't have to!

It took me a really long time too, and really it just took time and settling into the change and I don't think there's really anything that you can DO to make it happen....it just finally does.
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Old 04-13-2011, 09:53 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I just like being called Mrs.shen( my husband's Chinese surname), or Mrs.D.......(his English surname)!

Had no problem getting use to it, just feel sweet when I hear it!

Few people know my own family name or my Chinese name.
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Old 04-13-2011, 12:10 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I don't think I would like a wife that wouldn't take my name.

to be honest I think marriage is only for people who want to raise a family.and the name of mom and dad and kids should be the same.
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Old 04-13-2011, 12:46 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Chilly, a lot of men feel very strongly about their wives taking their names.
What happens if you can't have kids? Does that mean you don't deserve to experience the joy of marriage?
Some people just aren't cut out to be parents, either. I'm surprised that you believe that marriage is only for people that want to have babies.
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Old 04-13-2011, 03:22 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Mrs.G View Post
Chilly, a lot of men feel very strongly about their wives taking their names.
What happens if you can't have kids? Does that mean you don't deserve to experience the joy of marriage?
Some people just aren't cut out to be parents, either. I'm surprised that you believe that marriage is only for people that want to have babies.
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I've changed my opinion on this as I get older and see how many marriages fail. only logical to not take a chance with all your hard earned assets when the sucess rate is at or below 50%

not very good odds!!!!!!!

I think I'm just smarter now.


so whats the advanatage to getting married if your not going to have a family(kids)

hmmm.


prenump? good luck with that



I really love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you but could you please sign on the line so if things don't go as planned I don't lose my shirt.


hell in some states your spouce can cheat on you steel from you and you would still have to share half of what you have with a cheating stealling spouce.

THAT WOULD DO ME IN. no thanks.


guess I'm Jadded a little after reading this board awhile.


the bottom line that I get is people don't usually change.


you can only change yourself !


Joy of marriage.......is that an oxymoron
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Old 04-13-2011, 04:50 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Jack White took his wife's name. Jim True-Frost and his wife combined both their names.
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Old 04-13-2011, 08:34 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Wow, Chilly. What a lot of assumptions you've made.
We do not have a "pre nump" LOL My husband has no money.
Too bad you're jaded.
We were talking about childfree/infertile people getting married, not divorce. Your response didn't make sense, much like your nonsense about marriage being only for children. *grin*
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Old 04-13-2011, 08:57 PM   #11 (permalink)
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When my dh proposed the first question was will you marry me? The second was will you take my last name? True story. I didn't get the ring until I agreed to take his name.

So now I'm Mrs. lotsofsyllables, impossible to pronounce and even harder to spell polish last name. There are only about 40 of them in the US so I guess it's kind of a big deal to them. My poor son is the only one to carry on the name. Personally I don't give a crap if the name dies or not it's just a name.

I don't know when it felt real but at almost 20 years I'm now 100% totally nothing else BUT Mrs. lotsofsyllables. It seems foreign to me to say my maiden name.

Oh and if I heaven forbid got divorced I'd just be MS. lotsofsyllables. I wouldn't go back to my maiden name unless I remarried. Not only is it my name now but I've got 3 kids with the same last name.
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Old 04-13-2011, 09:21 PM   #12 (permalink)
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When my dh proposed the first question was will you marry me? The second was will you take my last name? True story. I didn't get the ring until I agreed to take his name.

So now I'm Mrs. lotsofsyllables, impossible to pronounce and even harder to spell polish last name. There are only about 40 of them in the US so I guess it's kind of a big deal to them. My poor son is the only one to carry on the name. Personally I don't give a crap if the name dies or not it's just a name.

I don't know when it felt real but at almost 20 years I'm now 100% totally nothing else BUT Mrs. lotsofsyllables. It seems foreign to me to say my maiden name.

Oh and if I heaven forbid got divorced I'd just be MS. lotsofsyllables. I wouldn't go back to my maiden name unless I remarried. Not only is it my name now but I've got 3 kids with the same last name.

Magnolia, I know what you mean. You should count your lucky stars that at least (I hope) special Polish characters are omitted in the Americanized spelling

Odds are I should have ended up with an even more complicated Indian last name. **phew** Lucky me

Mrs.G - Time to doodle. Your first name, with your husband's last name.. Just doodle
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Old 04-13-2011, 10:01 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Funny but I never considered keeping my maiden name. I'm not sure why. I liked it plenty but I just expected that should I ever marry I would take my husband's last name.

It did feel weird at first but you get used to it and then it's all you know.

My last name is now Rodriguez. There have been times people will hear my name and assume I am Hispanic but alas they will meet me and realize that I am a butt white mutt

What's in a name? Nada except for maybe a few unspoken assumptions.
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Old 04-13-2011, 10:11 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by magnoliagal View Post
When my dh proposed the first question was will you marry me? The second was will you take my last name? True story. I didn't get the ring until I agreed to take his name.


That is very interesting!

It shows a lot of humor in it!

Also a strong attitude!

And you say he is a beta!
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Old 04-13-2011, 10:14 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by reachingshore View Post

Magnolia, I know what you mean. You should count your lucky stars that at least (I hope) special Polish characters are omitted in the Americanized spelling

Odds are I should have ended up with an even more complicated Indian last name. **phew** Lucky me

Mrs.G - Time to doodle. Your first name, with your husband's last name.. Just doodle
Off topic!

Reaching, I just watched a video about an Indian baby!

Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!

YouTube - Cute baby arguing with her mom
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