Chopblock

It seems to be a dying tradition. I'm just curious, did the women here take (or do the engaged plan to take) the husbands last name?

To those who will, why?
To those who refuse, why?

Men, is it a dealbreaker if she doesn't?

swedish

I did, both times. It makes it more difficult for my dad's creditors to hunt me down

Chopblock

Hehehehe Nice.

It just seems to me like all the 20-something women these days are vehemently opposed to it. Some of the men accept that as an inevitability, while others get really upset and are probably going to have to either negotiate really hard, or marry somebody else.

bzyshopinbee

I took my husbands last name because it was an outward sign of our union. It served to make me feel as I was 'really married' and that we were forming a brand new family.

draconis

I can imagine for some people it is a matter of tradition were some might think it is subservant to do so. Ask yourself this would you take her name instead?

draconis

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Chopblock

---Ask yourself this would you take her name instead?---

Absolutely not.

I realize that the next response for many will be "then why should she"? so no need to bother.

bluebutterfly0808

i did take my husband's name. i kinda wish i would have left my maiden name on & just added his to the end but oh-well. it is not something to dwell on. i like that our family has the same name. it makes us feel like a unit. to each his own i suppose.

as far as you not wanting to take your wife's name, that doesn't bother me...but since we take your name, i feel that the husband is the "head" of the house. he should also then act like it - protect, take control when necessary, etc. i guess i'm just a modernized old-fashioned girl.

loveandmarriage

I took my husband's name. I thought of it as a honor and outward sign of our union.

GAsoccerman

My wife did take my last name, she uses her Maiden name as her Middle name now, since she did not have one.

For the record, it would have been a deal breaker for me if she did not take my last name, it's all or nothing to me in a marriage.

draconis

A name is a name...lol

Really a deal breaker?

draconis

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GAsoccerman

Yep, drac, I am going to be honest, it was a deal breaker, I felt very strongly about it, call me old fashion in that regard, but my wife should have the same last name as me and our future children.

Also our Youngest son's middle name is her Maiden name, as respect to her family.

It goes both ways.

draconis

Everyone in the world is different. I respect what you believe. It was never important to me that is why I wanted it clairified to me.

I offered to take my first wife's name because she was the last in line meaning the named died when she married me. She wanted my name and our son together has her maiden name as a middle name.

draconis

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GAsoccerman

same here, my wife's father ahd all girls, while the family name will be carried on with their cousins, we honored her father with the middle name of our second son. He would not allow us to use his first name, so we settled on her maiden name. but her Dad's name was Harry (harold) he hated his name and begged us not to have our child's middle name be that. So we respected his wish.

My oldest son has my father's middle name, whom died when I was a year old.

draconis

My ex wife's father was the only boy, his grandfather had two boys one dies in war before having children. So there isn't anyone to carry on the name including cousins that are known.

draconis

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827Aug

I guess I'm just an old fashioned southern girl. I took my husband's last name and used my maiden name as my middle name. I wouldn't have had it any other way. Is it out of love, respect, or tradition? I'm not sure.....