CallaLily

I'm not married but was involved with a man once who did this very thing.

And yes, he was one of these that wanted things done for him, but didn't care how you felt or what you said about anything. He was all about himself.

I could ask him to do whatever, he wouldn't. It would never get done. Once I had to take some things to my car for the donations center, the bags were very heavy, not something I could lift especially due to my back issues. I asked him in a nice way if he would. He did say sure.

A week passed, they still sat there. When I asked why he hadn't put them in the car, he got pissed and said he would. Are ya serious? You're gonna get mad at me when I asked you once and a week later it still wasn't done?

Needless to say I learned real quick how he operated. So the next time he wanted sex, I acted just like he did. I did it when I wanted to, which translated into not doing it all. Do not think for one minute you can treat me like that after I ask you do something simple and then expect me to do whatever for you. Doesn't work that way.

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okeydokie

i am actually using the honey do list as a weapon to get more sex

Tool

Now that is messed up on so many levels..

CallaLily

Yes it was, him not taking bags to my car, (very simple task) was just messed up.

I guess he found that difficult to do, so I did too.

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Tool

So instead of opening up communication with him and working on the issue.. you went to his level..

Not cool at all..

I imagine with relationship didn't make it.. I see why..

CallaLily

NO, this was something that had been going on for awhile. This wasn't a one time thing where he didn't do something I had asked. I stated in my opening post how he was.

I had tried to communicate to him several times over the course of the relationship on how I felt on such things. He didn't get it. Or maybe he did and just didn't care. That would be my guess.

when I chose not to give him what he wanted that was the only time that happened, because I was tired of it.

I think my biggest mistake with that relationship was I waited to long to end things.

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CallaLily

I'm glad you see why, because,

I ended the relationship. Had I not, I bet the relationship would have continued to go on the way it did, with him expecting me to give him whatever whenever, without him doing anything for me. He was happy to keep getting sex while he did nothing for me, once again doesn't work that way for me, not in my book.

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Tool

At least you see what you did was wrong.. And should have ended it when you stopped the sex..

CallaLily

Yes me putting up with that behavior from him was wrong, and I'm glad I did end it.

Had he ended it, he would have done us both a favor too, just as I probably did for us too. Good riddance.

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MarriedWifeInLove

My husband procrastinates - badly - the things I ask him to do and the things HE wants to do - anything and everything - just the way he is.

I learned long ago to just give it up.

If it's really that important and I can, I do it myself or I call someone in.

Just not worth the aggravation to me otherwise - the more you push - the more they continue to "forget" to get it done - all in the name of seeing who can hold out the longest and who is in control and who isn't.

Just a waste of time.

This is why...after 8 months...I still do not have a working toilet, sink or bathtub in MY bathroom - so I have to use his - and guess I will until he fixes them or one of us dies - whichever comes first.

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"Don't Find Fault - Find A Remedy" Henry Ford

okeydokie

sex as a weapon, just as i suspected

Tool

The last time the toilet broke in the house my Wife fixed it.. She didn't even ask me.. She just went off to lowes, got the parts and spent a couple hours getting it done..

She is a good Wife hehe..

okeydokie

thats just being lazy, i would be frustrated too. wait, i am. i married one of the biggest procrastinators in history. we celebrate kid birthdays several months late, she has piles of things everywhere she just doesnt have time to deal with, we have pictures leaning against wall because she can decide where to hang them, oh, and sex....we seem to put that off too

Tool

My Wife is a procrastinator too.. And at a time would rather nag at me to get things done instead of doing it herself..

We had issues with sex for a while too.. But instead of whining about it which is just like nagging.. I made an issue out of it, the problem had to be corrected or there would be big trouble..

trey69

Good for you! Sounds like you know what you are and are not willing to put up with. Never settle for less than you feel you deserve.

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"When people are truly sick and tired of being sick and tired, that's when they will make a change."