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Old 05-09-2011, 02:48 PM   #46 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by okeydokie View Post
thats just being lazy, i would be frustrated too. wait, i am. i married one of the biggest procrastinators in history. we celebrate kid birthdays several months late, she has piles of things everywhere she just doesnt have time to deal with, we have pictures leaning against wall because she can decide where to hang them, oh, and sex....we seem to put that off too
I think it's just being lazy too.

I do plenty of stuff I "don't want" to do, every day.

But to them, they just procrastinate - give them a break - they'll get to it.

Very, very aggravating and frustrating.

But I threw up my hands a long time ago - I have bigger fish to fry right now and it's just not important anymore.

My husband has 5 trucks/cars in various stages of restoration that he can never seem to complete. They've been in "that state" for about 6+ years. One of the neighbors even took pics and mailed them to our HOA who sent us the pics with a letter - thought we were running a used car lot.

You know what hubby said - sue me.

They are still in the exact same place they were when they sent the letter 2 years ago.

We have a deal though - he has his man cave, the garage and a storage unit in the backyard. He can do whatever he wishes with any of that space - the rest of it - I keep it organized and clean - you come to my house - you can definitely tell who is in charge of what space - his is cluttered - the rest is not.

I just turn a blind eye now...
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Old 05-09-2011, 08:16 PM   #47 (permalink)
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Yes it was, him not taking bags to my car, (very simple task) was just messed up.

I guess he found that difficult to do, so I did too.
That doesn't require asking though, that's just something you're supposed to do.
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Old 05-09-2011, 08:27 PM   #48 (permalink)
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My whole thing with the trash situation, is yes I can take the trash out myself, but why should I???? That is pretty much the only chore I ask my husband to do. I do the laundry, clean, take care and make sure the dogs are takin care of, help him with his car when he needs it, and Oh I work 9 hours a day. So I think I deserved to atleast to have something I don't have to worry about. And yes I constantly have to remind him to put it out Monday nights now because If I'm not on it, Tuesday when I walk in the house, it stinks and it reallys pisses me off that he can't remember this one task. And no I'm not complaing about having to do the others things because I do love my husband, but I kinda would appreciate the help even if it is just taking out the trash!
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Old 05-09-2011, 09:03 PM   #49 (permalink)
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This is a marriage, a partnership. You both work and the chores should be 50/50, which it appears he is failing at in spades.
As for those who said anything she can do for herself, she should, I guess that includes sex? Why should she show him any love if he fails to meet the most basic things she asks of him? Bring on resentment.
Jamison and Trey got it right, as they always do.
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Old 05-09-2011, 11:19 PM   #50 (permalink)
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Why should she show him love?? I dunno maybe because they are married and she doesn't want him to get it somewhere else.. That sounds like a pretty good reason to me..

Using sex as a weapon is bull crap..

My point to all my posts, is that instead of nagging which just pisses us guys off.. You should have a talk about this and let him know that he needs to take out the trash before you notice it needs to be taken out.. Tell him how you feel, it pisses you off when you come home to a stinky house.. You know he can smell it if he is at home, so he should be able to take care of it..
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Old 05-10-2011, 05:41 AM   #51 (permalink)
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This is a marriage, a partnership. You both work and the chores should be 50/50, which it appears he is failing at in spades.
As for those who said anything she can do for herself, she should, I guess that includes sex? Why should she show him any love if he fails to meet the most basic things she asks of him? Bring on resentment.
Jamison and Trey got it right, as they always do.
your right, so in my case i should stop even trying to meet any of my wifes needs until she bucks up and pulls what i percieve to be her weight around the house.
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Old 05-10-2011, 11:54 AM   #52 (permalink)
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your right, so in my case i should stop even trying to meet any of my wifes needs until she bucks up and pulls what i percieve to be her weight around the house.
Yes! It goes both ways. In the OP's case he really isn't do even the bare minimum. That would turn me off as well.
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Old 05-10-2011, 11:56 AM   #53 (permalink)
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Why should she show him love?? I dunno maybe because they are married and she doesn't want him to get it somewhere else.. That sounds like a pretty good reason to me..

Using sex as a weapon is bull crap..

My point to all my posts, is that instead of nagging which just pisses us guys off.. You should have a talk about this and let him know that he needs to take out the trash before you notice it needs to be taken out.. Tell him how you feel, it pisses you off when you come home to a stinky house.. You know he can smell it if he is at home, so he should be able to take care of it..
She is his wife not his mother. If he can't figure out that the trash smells and needs to be out of the house without her pointing it out then he either needs a new nose or an MRI.
I wouldn't show him love either. I'm not in to kids.
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Old 05-10-2011, 12:17 PM   #54 (permalink)
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Procrastinating a little is fine. Procrastinating a lot is not. I agree that it's just being lazy.

It is not acceptable to live in filth, to never contribute around the house and to not help your SO.

If I had something even mildly heavy I wouldn't even have to ask, my fiance would just carry it for me, and if I was taking things out to the car, he would just help me, I doubt I'd even have to ask him, because that's just the way he is.

I don't care if he's not as clean as me, or doesn't place importance on the the same level of cleanliness or different chores, as long as he makes an effort with most things, then I would overlook the other stuff. If I or he was consistantly lazy, then I doubt either of us would be happy.
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Old 05-10-2011, 12:22 PM   #55 (permalink)
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As long as your house has ONE set of rules, who cares? But when She Who Is Obeyed has one set of rules for everyone else and yet she can be a Hoarders-worthy slob, that's when it gets ugly.

Hon, you haven't picked your dirty underwear up off the bathroom floor this week. Please don't tell me about the extra 30 minutes the breakfast dishes are in the sink today. They'll GET done. Your ****-tornado....it's not looking good for completion.
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Old 05-10-2011, 12:27 PM   #56 (permalink)
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As long as your house has ONE set of rules, who cares? But when She Who Is Obeyed has one set of rules for everyone else and yet she can be a Hoarders-worthy slob, that's when it gets ugly.

Hon, you haven't picked your dirty underwear up off the bathroom floor this week. Please don't tell me about the extra 30 minutes the breakfast dishes are in the sink today. They'll GET done. Your ****-tornado....it's not looking good for completion.
THATS my problem exactly. everyone elses tiny messes are catastrophies to her, while her huge catastrophic messes never get any attention
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Old 05-10-2011, 12:29 PM   #57 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Runs like Dog View Post
As long as your house has ONE set of rules, who cares? But when She Who Is Obeyed has one set of rules for everyone else and yet she can be a Hoarders-worthy slob, that's when it gets ugly.

Hon, you haven't picked your dirty underwear up off the bathroom floor this week. Please don't tell me about the extra 30 minutes the breakfast dishes are in the sink today. They'll GET done. Your ****-tornado....it's not looking good for completion.
That's not the situation here though. She wrote that she works, she does everything and this is really his only chore. I agree with her that for her to have to even ask is ridiculous, let alone multiple times. It shows total disrespect towards her and her feelings. He cannot figure out how to take out trash? What's next, the recipe for ice?
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Old 05-10-2011, 12:35 PM   #58 (permalink)
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Being mindful of what needs to be done around the house etc, without having to be asked can be a very respectful quality in each others eyes.

Although there have been times my wife might ask me to do something in which I have failed to see or overlooked etc, I have no problem with it. Even if I don't get to it right away, it still gets done. My wife usually asks me once, not ten times, if she has to get to that point, then her man isn't listening. THEN and only then does he hear only nagging, well I guess so after all that.
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Old 05-10-2011, 03:30 PM   #59 (permalink)
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That's not the situation here though. She wrote that she works, she does everything and this is really his only chore. I agree with her that for her to have to even ask is ridiculous, let alone multiple times. It shows total disrespect towards her and her feelings. He cannot figure out how to take out trash? What's next, the recipe for ice?

I hate to say it because I am guilty of union-rules work slowdowns at home....but being a passive-abrasive a-hole is sometimes the only way to get back at a control-freak. I feel that wifey is probably going to have a fit and complain about how it's done anyway, so....feel free to do it, luv...

But you're right, in this case his sounds like a lout. Just a Lay-Z-Boy driving slacktard. I would disagree with the tactics though. I wouldn't nag. If he's a lout just tell him to do it loud and clear that first time with no bull****. Tell him to get up and do it. Period. If he doesn't then drag the trash can over to where he's sitting and plunk it in front of him.
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