One of the best things I did for myself was, I took 6 months and said "no" to every request--I didn't have kids then, of course
BUT, it broke me of "yes" as my default answer. I learned to pause and think, is this something I want to do? Is this someone who cannot manage without me (and rarely is that true)? Of course, I had to take drastic measures b/c at the time I was just tooooo nice. Ha, boy, did I change!
This is all by way of saying, "no" is fine. Use it. Embrace it. You know what will help and you know what is just a desperate attempt in the place of things that NEED to happen to help whomever it is asking for help.
Of course, I do not have a child spinning out of control. I cannot imagine how hard that is--I know I've said that before, and I am in no way (get it, "no" way? haha) trying to say I have the answers. I'm just throwing ideas your way because it's always nice to have another opinion.
I'm really glad you and your son and your SO have baseball. Sounds like a lovely way to spend time together, and you deserve that!
Prayers heading your way!