My husband and I are taking a break so we can figure things out. I'm hopeful that things will work out because I still love him very much. I still feel the connection between us and I believe that he will find it too given time.
Our break started just a few days ago and for me it has been very difficult. I have been dreaming about him every night which makes it more difficult. My dreams are good...they're always about us being together again. Then I wake up and realize that it was a dream. It's very frustrating.
I don't know where we are headed and how long we'll be on this road. I know all I can do is take one day at a time and stay hopeful. At the same time, I don't want to get my hopes up too high in case things take a turn for the worse. It's all so confusing.
You are still in the initial shock of all of this and it is very hard to get your arms around the situation. Sleepless nights, confusion, self loathing, fear…. I’ve been there but with time it can get easier. Don’t feel you are completely dependent on your husband. Be there for him but don’t be clingy or doting it will only drive him further away. Try reading Dobson’s “Love Must be Tough” to gain some insight as to how being strong and independent can help him come back to you. Please take heart, this does get easier with time.
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Amp
Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.
Lonely...aren't you the one that dumped your hubby so you can date the young "player" at work, thinking he was not a player, but you did get played.
Then you tried picking up the bouncer at a night club, or went "man hunting"
Now that you have no man, you are thinking about your husband.
Do yourself a favor, and take some time from ALL MEN.
You really need to figure out what you want out of life, you currently want your cake, but you want to eat it too.
Seems you never sowed your wild oates and now you feel you need to, but you are torn on being the wild vixen and being the person you were the last 10+ years.
Seek counseling and take some serious time for yourself. Your Husband just may not take you back after this episode.
you are at the fork in the road of life, you really need to think about which way you want to go....becuase there is no going back. It will get ugly if you don't make a solid decision and get some help.
Lonely...aren't you the one that dumped your hubby so you can date the young "player" at work, thinking he was not a player, but you did get played.
Then you tried picking up the bouncer at a night club, or went "man hunting"
Now that you have no man, you are thinking about your husband.
Do yourself a favor, and take some time from ALL MEN.
You really need to figure out what you want out of life, you currently want your cake, but you want to eat it too.
Seems you never sowed your wild oates and now you feel you need to, but you are torn on being the wild vixen and being the person you were the last 10+ years.
Seek counseling and take some serious time for yourself. Your Husband just may not take you back after this episode.
you are at the fork in the road of life, you really need to think about which way you want to go....becuase there is no going back. It will get ugly if you don't make a solid decision and get some help.
I'm sorry, I don't know who you have me confused with but that is not my story at all. I have not been "man hunting" or even dating anybody. Please don't jump to conclusions about people like that, it really doesn't help anybody's situation. Do your research before you much accusations like this one.
so_lonely whatever the reason for your break it sounds like you are suffering from broken heart. When I broke with my long term boyfriend before marriage... I kept this diary and I would write all the things i love and dislike about him. It reminded me of why we were apart and everytime I wanted to talk to him I would just write instead. In time I just didn't call anymore because so much time passed it litterally didn't hurt as much. Hope you can get some good sleep. Also try to join a group on meetup.com - they have a bunch of fun stuff.
Lonely...aren't you the one that dumped your hubby so you can date the young "player" at work, thinking he was not a player, but you did get played.
Then you tried picking up the bouncer at a night club, or went "man hunting"
Now that you have no man, you are thinking about your husband.
Do yourself a favor, and take some time from ALL MEN.
You really need to figure out what you want out of life, you currently want your cake, but you want to eat it too.
Seems you never sowed your wild oates and now you feel you need to, but you are torn on being the wild vixen and being the person you were the last 10+ years.
Seek counseling and take some serious time for yourself. Your Husband just may not take you back after this episode.
you are at the fork in the road of life, you really need to think about which way you want to go....becuase there is no going back. It will get ugly if you don't make a solid decision and get some help.
Your advice is so so harsh - it really doesn't need to be like that does it?
so_lonely, I don't want to hijack your thread here, but I feel the need to highlight GA's response. GA, this is a great example of how you've stayed happily married for 12 years. You admitted your wrong in this post, apologized with humility, and asked forgiveness. Kudos. If we could all throw pride out like this, it would help us in so many marital obstacles.
so_lonely, I haven't read Love Must Be Tough (as suggested by AMP) but I've heard good things about it. You're grieving your relationship and it's so hard. People underestimate the severity of emotional/mental anguish. It's been a few days, how are things?
Thank you everyone for your support and advice. It's been a while since I've updated things so I thought I'd do that now.
My husband and I talked a little bit this past weekend. He called me and mentioned that he was sick. The last time we spoke was Monday. He responded to a text from me asking him if he was feeling better but didn't answer my phone call earlier in the day. I know there are many reasons that could be for why he didn't answer but I can't help but think he just didn't want to talk. The conversations that we've had since we separated have been very brief. He has said that he does miss me and that it's weird not having me around. He's also said that he is enjoying having some time to himself. I can understand that...alone time is healthy for everyone.
I've been doing a lot better but it's still so difficult. I miss him so much and I want him to call every day. I'm never sure if I should call him because I'm trying to give him space...that's the whole point of us doing this anyway. When we do talk, he still tells me he loves me...that's one of the very few things keeping me hopeful. I don't know how often he thinks of me or what he's thinking in regards to our relationship. I want to know so badly but I don't want to be pushy.
I keep reminding myself that it has not been all that long since we separated (almost 2 weeks) but to me it seems like it's been months. I just keep telling myself (when I can't control my thoughts) that he needs time and space. I just hope that giving him this space doesn't lead him astray.
I keep reminding myself that it has not been all that long since we separated (almost 2 weeks)<<<<it's not that long...i'd imagine separated average time is well above that...you CAN get back together too early...cuz you are using the apart time for YOU, RIGHT???>>>> but to me it seems like it's been months. I just keep telling myself (when I can't control my thoughts) that he needs time and space. I just hope that giving him this space doesn't lead him astray.<<<<SPACE WILL NOT LEAD HIM ASTRAY...LACK OF SPACE MIGHT>>>>
best of luck...sounds like you're handling this just about right...
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separated, honoring wife daily with AA, counseling, she deserves the best me i can give her.
Thank you GAsoccerman for your apology. I'm sorry I didn't thank you sooner. I appreciate it.
I hope I am handling this well. It makes me feel better that others think so. I just wish I could know how things are for him. Would it be too pushy to call him if I felt like talking to him? I've been good about keeping myself from calling/texting him but it's really hard. I just don't want to push him farther away.
dreams
I'm sorry, I don't know who you have me confused with but that is not my story at all. I have not been "man hunting" or even dating anybody. Please don't jump to conclusions about people like that, it really doesn't help anybody's situation. Do your research before you much accusations like this one.
