Ok, maybe not, but he sure isn't helpful. Since I've become a photographer, he's always so negative about my success. I try to explain to him that starting any business takes time to build and there is a loss at first, but I still get negative vibes from him. Now, I'm doing my first art show and I'm so excited - and nervous! I barely had time to get all my prints edited and then had issues getting them shipped to me. Now, all week I've been scrambling to get them framed and mounted, etc. And it's not an easy task. I wasn't planning on asking for my husband's help, but I became desperate. I was up until 2:30 am every night getting things together and just hoping he would offer to help. Nothing. I asked him what it would take for him to help me- money? Nope. I've never been so stressed and does he care? Does he help me carry the HUGE boxes out to the car? NO. I do everything myself. So tomorrow is the show and I need my booth attended at all times, so he is grudgingly coming with me in case I need to go to the bathroom- I NEED someone with me. I'm just afraid he's going to get pissed off about SOMETHING there and want to leave. He's a ticking time bomb. I'm a peaceful, mellow chick. Usually we balance each other out. But I really feel hurt about his unwillingness to help me [his partner in life] when I'm having a crisis. I told him that yesterday hoping he'd help today. He apologized, but today- NOPE. No help. I feel like screaming at him. I feel like throwing something. But I won't. It hasn't helped things in the past and it won't now. I don't know what will help. He's lazy. He doesn't care about my feelings. We are happy most of the time. When there isn't a stressful situation. It's these times that really suck. I've been with him for 10 yrs and it doesn't get any better, nor will it I'm sure.
Have you got kids, and have you done marriage counseling? If you don't have kids, I would STRONGLY suggest looking at the relationship before having any in the future. If you decide you don't want 10 more years of this, kids make it a whole new ball game. Read how to improve your marriage without talking about it. it might help. Good luck!
Unfortunately men are relatively immature...congratulations on your success by the way. I think this is a case of your husband feeling emasculated, while on the one hand he is no doubt very proud of you on the other he can't help feeling jealous too! The very fact he doesn't help you is because - in his head - it pushes you further toward your success and actually he doesn't really want that. I maybe wrong of course...
Can you involve him in more way? Make him feel a part of your success...
Withholding something when you need it most is a passive-aggressive trait and you need to do some research into how to deal with it. It doesn't get any better on it's own and he will deny it if you bring it up. Good Luck!
Not sure what's going on here. Maybe he just wasn't raised right. I can't imagine letting my wife (or any other woman) carry anything heavy unless I was completely disabled. I can't think of anything my wife has ever asked me to do that I just flatly refused. I guess it just comes down to simple selfishness and lack of respect. Has he always treated you this way or is he just being passive-aggressive cause he doesn't want your photography business to succeed? Now, I'm not always paying attention as closely as I should, so I might not notice my wife needing help, especially if I'm busy or in another room. If he knew you needed help and just flatly refused, he kinda sounds like a selfish or passive-aggressive jerk to me. Is he angry with you for some reason and maybe this is his way of giving you "pay-back"?
Really??? Men are "relatively immature"? And you, a woman, posted that comment? How ironic.
Sounds like he's just not a helpful person. My wife does the same thing. Can see me struggling with something and walk right past me and never offer to help. It's very frustrating. Good luck with the show!
Really??? Men are "relatively immature"? And you, a woman, posted that comment? How ironic.
Sounds like he's just not a helpful person. My wife does the same thing. Can see me struggling with something and walk right past me and never offer to help. It's very frustrating. Good luck with the show!
Psst! Buddy! It's the "Ladies Lounge"... They can bash if they like.
maybe you need to cut your loses and leave.i would have never said something so negative a year ago,but i was married 21 years,i worked and supported him over half of our marriage.he was injured at work and was sent to an i.t. school,when he finally got a job,he moved out and took our son with him.he is bone lazy,and when i thought back on our life,i realized he was a jerk from the begining.
Withholding something when you need it most is a passive-aggressive trait and you need to do some research into how to deal with it. It doesn't get any better on it's own and he will deny it if you bring it up. Good Luck!
Yep. You are dealing with a PA man. I just read my first book on it and it was very enlightening. I've got a mildly PA man myself. They can be quite frustrating to live with.
I was a professional for many years, and have since reduced it to a hobby.
I can understand your eagerness to show off your work.
My wife couldn't give two hoots about my images.
You need to do this on your own. Get help from somewhere else, and show him that you're not "needy".
Whatever money you do make, go buy YOURSELF something with it, and don't even think about sharing your hard earned money with him.
I'm sorry, but he resents you for doing something YOU enjoy. As crazy as it sounds, it sometimes works that way.
Stop making yourself crazy, and do your own thing. If it's too much work, either get some hired help. (lots of teenagers would help you for a few dollars), or reduce your workload for now.
Go take pics.
BTW.... Do you have a website?
I'd love to see your work. Never know, maybe I could use a nice picture for my wall
Maybe he feels insecure because you're having success.
Getting pissy about standing at the booth with you? Sounds like that could be it.
My H has this way of "supporting" my successes on the outside, but then doing subtle little things to undermine it.
Maybe he's too insecure to really let you shine without feeling diminished himself.
Ok, maybe not, but he sure isn't helpful. Since I've become a photographer, he's always so negative about my success. I try to explain to him that starting any business takes time to build and there is a loss at first, but I still get negative vibes from him. Now, I'm doing my first art show and I'm so excited - and nervous! I barely had time to get all my prints edited and then had issues getting them shipped to me. Now, all week I've been scrambling to get them framed and mounted, etc. And it's not an easy task. I wasn't planning on asking for my husband's help, but I became desperate. I was up until 2:30 am every night getting things together and just hoping he would offer to help. Nothing. I asked him what it would take for him to help me- money? Nope. I've never been so stressed and does he care? Does he help me carry the HUGE boxes out to the car? NO. I do everything myself. So tomorrow is the show and I need my booth attended at all times, so he is grudgingly coming with me in case I need to go to the bathroom- I NEED someone with me.
So I am going to say this in the kindest way I know how. You started a business ... and just assumed he would be part of your business? Without discussing it with him?
If it were me, I would be doing the exact same thing as your husband. It is called limit setting. Being spouse does not mean I care to bail my spouse out of his poor planning.
Sit yourself down and figure out how to run your BUSINESS.
So I am going to say this in the kindest way I know how. You started a business ... and just assumed he would be part of your business? Without discussing it with him?
If it were me, I would be doing the exact same thing as your husband. It is called limit setting. Being spouse does not mean I care to bail my spouse out of his poor planning.
Sit yourself down and figure out how to run your BUSINESS.
It doesn't sound like she wants him to do the business side of things, just to offer to help with some of the manual labor and "special" events (art show).
I dont think she's demanding administrative assistance to actually RUN the business. Posted via Mobile Device
I am working from home and asked my husband for help - he did really well at it the first time round so much so that I felt confident he'd do well if he asked for more work, so he did and bailed at the first hurdle. Fine, now I know I can't rely on him for the future.
However, a little help doesn't hurt. I'm sure if both mine and moonchild's husbands were doing their own thing with their business that they'd expect help in some form; looking after kids, cooking meals, general housework anyone? This is what marriage is about. Working as a team. Together. Equally, if possible.
My husband is very lazy indeed and loses interest in things quickly. I accept his short attention span because I can focus and be dedicated to tasks where he can't. The only place I trip up in my own relationship is when I've had a butt load of work my way and he's sat on his ass at home.
I wouldn't be saying that if I lived in a clean, organised (would settle for the bathroom being clean every week rather than whenever he feels like it every few months or so) home that I wasn't in charge of running as well as working on top of everything.
Lets face it; some people are just lazy and won't help unless there's something in it for them.
I think you should let him know. He might not even see what he's doing and how his behaviour is effecting you. My husband always believes he's in the right and that he does his best - which is far from truth. I always say when there's a problem because then at least I told him, he knew and he could do something about it if he chose too.
worst. husband. ever. 
