Originally Posted by turnera
The reason I'm asking is your marriage doesn't have to be dead, necessarily. If he's actively cheating or only recently not cheating, you do have some leverage toward some things.
My husband's affair was from May -October 2009.
I found out in June 2009
He moved out but came home frequently.
Looking back, I was a FOOL.
I forgave him because:
Everyone makes mistakes.
No one is perfect.
If the role was reversed, I would have wanted a second chance.
He told me in September that it was over and he moved back home.
In October 2009 , I discovered that it was not over.
In November 2009, he was trapped. She was blackmailing him.
In Deceomber 2009, I gave him an ultimatum: Fire her or I will file for Divorce.
She was fired mid-Januaru 2010.
He paid her 30K.
He never fully returned whole-heartly to our marriage.
No real remorse.
Blamed me partly for his affair by saying that if our marriage was solid, he would not have seeked her for attention and affection.
Blamed me that he had to fork over 30K. I made him fire her. Why couldn't I just trust and believe him that it was over?
We grew apart slowly after that.
This June 26 will mark two years that I found out that they were NOT "just friends."