06-07-2011, 02:02 PM
Join Date: May 2011
| | Re: What is seduction to you?
Originally Posted by Deejo
You back off and reset the dynamic. If she has issues surrounding sex, and a belief that ANY form of intimacy will lead to him desiring sex, then intimacy becomes a trigger of avoidance. If a wife is sexually shut down, and a husband consistently brings it up for discussion, flirtation, seduction, complaining ... it becomes the male equivalent of nagging. It doesn't work.
By backing off and focusing on HER issues, it puts the subject in a different focus. Instead of trying to get her to have sex, stay focused on the reasons she DOESN'T want to have sex, and make her take responsibility for them in the context of maintaining the relationship. She needs to be honest with herself, and her husband. If her attitude is 'this is who I am, take it or leave it.' Hubby should make it clear that he will leave it.
Ah! Nowhere did it say "...focusing on HER issues...", it just said "...backing off...". No wonder it made no sense. What about when the focusing on her issues becomes the male equivalent of nagging?
As for being detached / disinterested, if someone tries to focus on why I don't like football (for example), I'll just say "'Cos it's ****, now drop it!" All the focussing on why I thunk it's **** won't make think any more highly of it.