frustr8dhubby

Hello ladies,

One of the threads in the sex forum got me to thinking. What is seduction to you?

I have never been the most romantic type with words, etc but I do try to be flirty, playful, what have you. But that is usually met with disdain or a laugh off.

As an example. We have been doing P90 together lately and of course my comment is "Hey the kids are at school and I am home today, great day for naked P90!" Which is met with something like "Yeah so you can see my floppy t*ts, etc". Now obviously naked P90 isn't really practical but any time I try to play with her like that her comments are negative. Not mean, just almost like she intentionally tries to kill the thought.

She doesn't like frank dirty talk so I can't sext with her. So where do I draw the line? How can I tease her mind a little without her being so negative about it?

Thanks!

SimplyAmorous

Please excuse my ignorance but what is a P90? In your example, her comeback almost sounds similar to your half asking for some play. She in turn was half replying to show you her breasts. The term p90 doesn't sound all that erotic in this context. (even thuogh I have no idea what it means).


I feel seducing is more of a coming on cause you "want" and "desire" your partner, there is an intensity about the matter, no asking about it, but passion fully present with eyes that tell the whole story when she looks into them, she should feel a longing for her.

It is not so much light hearted with a question mark hoping she will come your way but a "oh honey, I am SO into you right now, have been missing you all day" type of feeling- needing to be expressed in words , showing a bodily urgency that you need to have her NOW. With a rubbing up against her, a pushing her down romantically.

Sometimes sex may be the last thing on our minds, but a coming on like this can take us by sweet surprise- and she will fall under your spell ~~ your passion fueling her passion.

Starting with some affection to gauge her mood, your hands around her waist, a kissing on the neck, hands moving further up possiby, whatever she LIKES- glances to see the pleasure on her face, if it is there, more kissing, roamning hands going to some of these hotter zones, a whisering in her ears all the things you have been waiting to do to her, Teasing all way to the finish.

For me, THIS is seduction. Many women will fall under such a spell. Need to not be afraid or even question your ability to bring her to these places though, she wants to feel your passion. (or she should!!).

I realize this sounds easy , if your wife is a cold fish or you are having issues, might not go so well, but a shame, this is what romance novels are made of and it works for most of us !

__________________
"Love Good Blog"

WhiteRabbit

I think suggesting naked p90 is flirty...kind of like when i would suggest to my husband that we play naked wii sports
or play naked pool...naked guitar hero...anything naked


but her idea of flirty might be more conservative. maybe send her a text telling her that you miss her soft skin or you love her sweet scent...erotic but not filthy.

frustr8dhubby

SA,

P90 is an exercise program. Believe me I try the "I want you now" or rubbing on her stuff all the time, that never works.

WhiteRabbit,

I have tried less suggestive texts and even leaving little notes in her truck or on the fridge. Seems to get me nowhere.

Mrs.G

No wonder your name is "frustr8hubby". Why is your wife so cold to you? Do you ever try to discuss it with her?

Seduction means romance to me, along with the urgency. My husband seduces me by sending dirty emails and pulling me away from whatever I'm doing to have sex.

WhiteRabbit

bummer does she have a low self esteem that would keep her from being able to accept your praise and advances? the floppy boobies comment makes me feel like she doesn't feel sexy and it's really keeping her from getting in the mood.

it isn't your job to make her feel sexy.it's your job to supplement the sexiness she already feels for herself...you can't just create a self esteem for her. does that make sense? if she can't feel sexy on her own then nothing you do will ever make her respond in a positive way.

frustr8dhubby

She has a horrible body image yes, and it drives me nuts because she has a great body for a 43 year old woman with three kids.

WhiteRabbit

i'm not going to say stop trying to make her feel good bc that's probably not the best course of action. but your efforts will continue falling into thin air. if she can't get over her low self image she can't be receptive to your praise and sexual flirting.

Runs like Dog

did you ever hear the expression "if you want to be heard, whisper"? that's what seduction is.

JustAGirl

Rap "Ice Ice Baby" in her ear, worked for me! lol

Trenton

That would not be seductive to me in any way. I'd consider it playful and almost funny but not seductive.

Seductive takes more work in my opinion and is not nearly as blunt as sexts and naked P90. If you master seduction I think she will be more likely to respond to sext'ing and P90 naked ideas.

For seduction I think there has to be subtle conflict and intense emotions built up to create a sense of sexual friction.

An example: If your wife had interaction with any man. Say you're at the grocery store and she gets help from the clerk and you comment on how he is checking her out. If this happened you could say something along the lines of, "Why was that guy checking you out?"

Now she might feel that you're being ridiculous but your slight jealousy and notice of her as a woman will stir emotions for her. Then you can follow your comment up with a physical touch of some sort. A light slap on the bum or an arm around her waist (arm around her waist if she's not use to a lot of physical touch from you) and then say, "You're mine." -or if this is too much for her- you can say something jokingly but firm in the form of a question but said as a statement...like, "Doesn't he know you're mine." Then let it go.

Now later on that evening you can re-bring up the emotions you stirred and have it lead to more physical touch. So you say something like, "Why do you look so good in those *fill in the blank with whatever she was wearing that you found attractive during the day*?

Make eye contact with her and say something along the lines of (again, not in a serious psycho voice but rather a joking, serious/possibly not serious voice, "I don't think it's fair that you give me a hard on like that and do nothing about it."

If she's responding well you can place her hand on your ****. She may not submit to you and instead will look confused or give you a similar reaction as to what you got from P90 which is why you have to continually build the seduction with small conversations like the one you had in the grocery store until she feels as if she is a Sex Goddess who can fulfill your every whim and wants to.

If you're just starting out you will have to take it slow and use her responses as your guides. The more subtle you are to begin with, the better her response.

Seduction is about making the other person feel intense, not made to feel self conscious. Unless you have all the aspects in play you will continue to get your wife's feedback to your suggestions to mimic those of a woman who feels insecure with her own body and has no idea why you'd be interested.

Undertheradar

Whoa!! STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE!!!

If your wife doesn't like her body, you'd better stop suggesting naked workouts immediately!

NO NO NO NO NO.

She has a wall up, when it comes to being seduced. She's not liking herself at the moment.

I'd suggest you BACK OFF for now, and help her work on her image a bit.
How about a day of beauty for her? Women love that stuff.
Give her the works. Tell her that you feel that she's the most beautiful woman on the planet, and you wanted to give her something special for no special reason.
If there was ever a way to seduce her, that might do it.

WhiteRabbit

i felt seduced when H said to me at dinner one evening a long time ago..."so,when are you going to let me taste you?"

he said it while staring directly into my eyes...very serious and completely oozing confidence.

Trenton

Nothing wrong with surprising her with a little wine and a a picnic. Let her have a glass or two so that her guard is not completely up (not suggesting you get drunk and romp though as she will feel taken advantage of and most likely pissed the next day!).

But, you can then always...
-Brush your hand across her cheek.
-Tell her she is beautiful while looking her in the eyes.
-Take her hand and squeeze lightly before letting go
-Suggest a walk and reach for her hand while you are walking
-Listen to her carefully and pick up her wants and then fulfill them. Example...she says, "I always wanted one of those." The next day purchase it, wrap it up and surprise her with it.

Runs Like Dog is absolutely right...seduction is the whispers that speak to us quietly, softly and thrill us.

okeydokie

thats awesome, my wife would have rolled her eyes and changed the subject.