Anyway, what I'm trying to get at... Is there a biological, underlying reason for crying in addition to stress relief. A sort of genetic manipulation of gaining sympathy from a partner or surrounding people to gain an advantage.
My wife says it's a sexist theory, but I don't know many men who pass a crying woman on the street, or at a gathering and have a reaction of "something's wrong" or "somebody did something bad to that woman". In my mind, the crying woman is always right (especially if a man is close by). It never occurs to me, that she's crying because she's upset.
I wanted to throw this out to a community of women to see what you think. Am I just being sexist? Is there something to this?
It is sexist to assume women have some kind of "GENETIC" urge to manipulate people around them, yes.
Why not acknowledge that women are individuals? Some cry for manipulative purposes. Some cry because they're genuinely emotional. Some cry because they are frustrated with THEMSELVES. It's not always about you.
If it's not about you, and you make
it about you, that says as much about you as it does her crying.
I also think you may be committing the fallacy of confirmation bias. A woman crying grabs your attention - you NOTICE her. A woman who walks down the street stoically and only bursts into tears when no one is watching, or a woman who WANTS to cry but never does - you don't see her. You are counting the hits and discarding the misses.
In fact, there are a lot of women who actively resist
public displays of emotion because they fear they won't be taken seriously, or that they will be stereotyped as a "hyperemotional female".
For the women who do cry manipulatively, I think it is also illogical to blame a "genetic" issue with women instead of looking at social factors. Women tend to be smaller and less physically strong than men. Women are often told that they should not be direct and forceful, because that's b*****y. Many women have been physically intimidated by men - the majority of men are not physical intimidators, but it only takes one
time to remind a woman that she is at a disadvantage if this becomes a physical fight. If crying is a tactic some women have adopted, yeah, it's not exactly admirable. But I think it's as much a "nurture" response to the world we live in as it is anything to do with inherent "nature."
I also don't think it's any more manipulative than a man who uses his physical size to intimidate people, or who flies into violent rages to get someone to submit. Not man-bashing when I say this, quite the opposite. Manipulative behavior is not limited to gender, it just takes different forms.