What I intended to say was that you're comparing apples to oranges. If you love your wife, you should work it out with your wife. Not read stories on the internet of women who love to slurp cum and believe the grass is greener so you might be willing to walk over to that grass.
You make your wife out to be such a villain but I don't see it that way from what I've read.
Whoa! Nobody wants slurp! LOL..
I don't want to make my wife out to be a villian, but at the same time, I don't want to paint a rosey picture for a person, that had an EA, and was willing to leave her husband, and at one piont offered to leave the children with me.
I'm not angry anymore. I'm actually quite happy that she's being nice. But "nice" is too easy to fake.
There are some folks here that believe actions speak louder than words, and they're right.
FWIW..... I'm not angry at my wife. I just ordered a bucket of nuclear hot wings, and a 6 pack of coronas. We have plans to eat like pigs, and have a few cold beers.... Just like when people date
I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, that perhaps our marriage got stale. Going back to basics, may not be the worst thing. After all, isn't it smart to go back to doing the things that made two people desire each other in the first place?
I guess everyone's missing my point....
I don't believe her WORDS. I want to see her show respect. That's all I want. I'll do the rest.
Potential problem here.... Spouse doesn't consider her actions cheating. Before I can present her with this, I would have to get her to a "happy place", where she's fully receptive to what I'm saying.
The last thing I want to do, is back her into a corner a again.
The best offense, could be a good defense.
I think this is the complete wrong attitude to take. You don't have to 'get' her anywhere. You have to know what YOU want, inform her of it, and wander off on your own and let her decide if she'll fight for you.
I think this is the complete wrong attitude to take. You don't have to 'get' her anywhere. You have to know what YOU want, inform her of it, and wander off on your own and let her decide if she'll fight for you.
I want to agree with you. However, she's not receptive to talking about anything.
She's playing this whole thing, as if nothing happened, so why discuss it.
She just wants to move on.
Very frustrating for me, but understand what you'r saying.
That is preciselythe problem. You know what you need. You THINK she should and your on opposite ends of the world. Sate what you need, she can't read your mind.
That is preciselythe problem. You know what you need. You THINK she should and your on opposite ends of the world. Sate what you need, she can't read your mind.
Yes, I agree. HOWEVER ( you knew that was coming )... This is NOT the type of woman that's receptive to MY needs. She lives the "every person for themselves" rule.
If I told her "I need this, and I want that", it would fall on deaf ears.
I know I make her sound awful. She could be the kindest, most fun loving person I've ever known, but she's stubborn and selfish, when it comes to giving to my needs. She's developed this liberated attitude, and it stinks.
And since she got her job, she's even worse. Now her attitude is " I don't need anything from you, so don't expect anything from me"
Sorry.... I know it's not what you want to hear, but it does currently represent the state of the affairs.
Oh how I know that liberated attitude all to well. It's I don't "need" a man so why should I do anything for him. You are in a tough spot for sure. At the moment though she does kinda need you because she doesn't make enough money to support herself. Right? And she needs you to watch the kids while she works.
So in a way she does need you but she's trying to convince you otherwise. Don't buy it.
I come home from work in a great mood. My kids are running around outside with their friends. I pull up to the house, and they drop what they're doing to ome say hello to me.
On the way home, I decide to pick up a bottle of Stoli Vodka, and I intended to make a few summer drinks with the neighbors, and enjoy the beautiful night.
My wife is sitting in front of our house ( by herself), and I approach her and say hello. She didn't come off as wanting to kiss me hello ( as we always have before), so I put a humorous spin on it. I filp a coin, and say "heads you have to kiss me hello, tails, I'll let you off the hook" . Sure enough, I get tails, and I said, Oh well.
The biatch, says "I didn't feel like kissing you anyway".
The night passed, and that was that.
Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic, but IMO, the proper thing to do in a case like that, would have to kiss your spouse hello, regardless.
If anything, it's just a small sample reminder of how my wife is acting.
Okay Under why didn't you say "heads you have to kiss me hello, tails I have to kiss YOU hello". Make it win/win.
You made it impossible for her to approach you. Women aren't programmed to do that unless they feel it's safe.
Fair enough.....
I went to kiss her hello, and I almost got the impression that she pulled away, and was repulsed at the idea.
Rather than get defensive, or feel insulted, I chose to play a game, and give her an out.... She took it.
I was in a good mood, and just felt like goofing around. I didn't give it much thought.
FWIW..... my "Old wife" (pre EA) would have jumped my bones if I even attempted to not kiss her hello.
So there are definite issues here.
You missed the key point. "SAFE HAVEN" You doesn't think you want her so she's defensive. On your other post, if she's so stubborn she won't talk about your needs or respect what you need, how do ever expect this to be resolved? If you two can't talk and compromise and be honest, you may as well get divorced now.
She thought YOU wanted the out. So she pretended she wanted it too by saying she didn't want to kiss you either. You could have come back and said 2 out of 3 with a smurk.
[QUOTE=8yearscheating;349715]You missed the key point. "SAFE HAVEN" You doesn't think you want her so she's defensive. On your other post, if she's so stubborn she won't talk about your needs or respect what you need, how do ever expect this to be resolved? If you two can't talk and compromise and be honest, you may as well get divorced now.[/QUOTE]
Kinda been the problem, ya think?
My wife is in and out of a very strange place. I've never seen her like this. It's a combination of being nice, like in friends, but not being a "spouse".
I honestly don't know how to act, and I don't want to act. I want to be myself, but I'm having a hard time doing it, because she throws "flies in the ointment.
gosh it's so hard not to get discouraged reading about what you're doing wrong at every turn isn't it Under?
As a WOMAN...I think if I were sitting there alone and my husband came walking up,noticed I wasn't in a receptive mood and decided to be flirty to cheer me up...did the sweet coin flip I would have kissed him regardless of heads or tails outcome. UNLESS i didn't want anything to do with him...then I just would have smiled and let it go if he got tails.I can't understand the need for the hurtful comment, "i didn't feel like kissing you anyway." WTF is that?!
She has some real demons floating around in her head to say something hurtful like that. *I* liked your simple way of trying to break the ice off her arse...I'm just sorry it didn't work out.
I don't get where she viewed it as he didn't wnt to really kiss her...he has been chasing her crazy arse around for 4 months trying to get her to love him...WHY would she have the idea planted in her head that he didn't really want to kiss her?
I guess we're on the same page with this one. There was no need for the hurtful comments, or to take the heads or tails game serious.
It SHOULD have a win / win regardless.
Re: Interpret this ladies.... 
