Originally Posted by WhiteRabbit
You protest too much...I get the vibe that you are trying hard to fool yourself into believing you've done everything you can possibly do to fix your end of the marriage.I also feel you are pushing yourself to stop feeling things for her so you don't fall apart over this.
Have you truly given up on her? OR are you trying to convince yourself you've given up so her rejection doesn't hurt as much?You don't have to answer that...just putting it out there for thought.
Oh, I 'll answer. I stepped into the lion's den, and I'll face the music.
I didn't come here to be pacified.
No, I have NOT given up on her. I think she may be going through something, and could wake up.
And before you jump all over that answer, YES, I do think I may be a bit naive to think that. So I'm just as confused.
Yes, I'm trying to convince myself that giving up is the only answer. There's always that little bit of hope that it'll end, but if after three months of hearing that "She's not sure what she wants", you'd think I'd get it.
I'm not sure I've done everything to fix my marriage. i'm still trying to figure what went wrong.
And finally, YES....my defense mechanism is kicking in to protect myself from the hurt of rejection.
I know in my heart that it's over. I'm hoping that in time, it'll become so played out, that it won't hurt as much.
That's why I'm sticking around...
1).. Hoping that maybe, just maybe she'll turn around. But I honestly don't see that happening.
2).. Hoping that I get so fed up with the pain she's putting me through, that I'll accept the inevitable much easier.
In case you're wondering what pain..... It's just the pain of hearing that a person simply doesn't want to be with you anymore.
I honestly wish she had a PA. I never wold have looked back. I couldn't live with that. But an EA with the dork she was talking too, was not enough to convince me.